Joyful In Affliction

God really speaks to us in ways that we least expect Him to. And when He does, He makes sure that it touches the core of our beings. He definitely knows how to get our attention.

I went to Baptist Hospital for my annual mammogram / sonogram check-up. I started having this routine exam since 2003. That's when I first detected a lump in my right breast. But at that time, it was not much of a big deal. True, I freaked out when I felt that undeniably marble-like firmness around the upper right quadrant of my bosom, but deep inside I found reassurance in knowing that our family had no history of breast cancer.

But that was then. And this is now. Today's picture has changed so much. Now - is after my own mother was diagnosed with cancer in 2006 and lost her battle in 2007. Now - is after my father was diagnosed with colon cancer at the very same year my mother passed away. Now - is when my other cousin (father's side) also discovered he has advanced renal cancer at 50 years old. Now - is when my uncle (mom's brother) lost his battle to prostate cancer and passed away just two nights ago. Isn't that something? I went from having no family history of cancer to having multiple kind. Like those unwanted weeds sprouting in the ground, one by one the dreaded big C surfaced from both sides of my family. It's as if cancer is trying to annihilate my clan!

Last year, I totally failed to do the annual check-up due to my family emergencies. So it's imperative that I should have it done this year, especially now that we know that I have a higher risk in developing this malignant disease. So, dutifully, I went even if part of me did not want to go through the check-up in fear of finding out something negative. But the sane part - or should I say the wise part of me - thankfully, ruled. Besides, fear is not of God and I've reminded myself time and again that because of Jesus' blood, those generational curses have no longer power over me.

Anyway, back to my appointment. Baptist Hospital was not bad this time. I didn't have to wait long before they called me in to the "inner chambers", where I had to change into a hospital gown that they provide, and then lead you into another waiting area where you wait for a few more minutes yet again for your turn. Stepping inside that waiting room reminds me of going into a (hospital) chapel. There's an air of sobriety, even sadness I would say. Maybe it's the knowledge that perhaps you're in the company of somebody whose days are numbered.

But as I went inside this time around, one lady in particular, cheerfully greeted me with, "Come, make yourself comfortable here. There's coffee and cookies and TV". I swear, if she wasn't wearing the same hospital gown as I was, I would have thought that she was a receptionist whose main job is to cheer us up. Her smile was genuine and joy just exuded from her that I was drawn to her. So I sat next to this lady. And then, I noticed that she was wearing a baseball cap, and those tell-tale little growths of hair peeking out from the hat. Right away, I knew that she has cancer and that she's been having chemotheraphy treatments.

So after the "hi and hellos" were done, I boldly asked "so what are you here for?" With a smile, she replied "an MRI, mammogram and sonogram". All I could say was "Oh.." Then as if reading my mind, she added "I found out on March that I have Lymphoma. The mass was right here (pointing to her left thigh), but it was taken out. It was huge and infact, before I came here, I was with another doctor and he just placed a drain in the wound".... So I said, "how are you holding up?" She admitted that it hasn't been easy but that she is doing well. I told her about my mother too. Strangely I felt a connection to her immediately. I think it's because in a way, I know what she is going through.

So then she continued to explain that the hospital did a PET scan on her months ago and they detected something in her breast. They think that the cancer must have metastasized but when they did a second PET scan, they couldn't find anything. So, the MRI results would be a confirmation of what's really going on inside her body. We talked a little bit more and I found out that she's a Christian. Ah... that explains her sunny disposition inspite her circumstances.

Unfortunately a hospital staff came in all too soon to summon her in for her MRI. But before she went, she said looking at me with eyes that have no trace of bitterness in them - "my spirit and my mind is ok. It's going to be a long journey for me. There are days that are challenging but in general, I am doing well in my spirit!" To which I said "I am glad. I pray that everything will be alright. God bless you!" And she said, "God bless you too!" I really wished that I spent more time with her. I would have wanted to pray for / with her, but it was not possible.

Shortly after she left, my turn came and I was ushered into one of the rooms for the mammogram. But for the rest of the day, I kept on thinking about that brief encounter. The woman was radiating with joy, her smile was like a sunshine burstring through the dark clouds. And she's not faking it, uh-oh. I could see it in her eyes; they were twinkling! When the hospital staff called her, she stood up like an eager little child. What a remarkable woman! To sum her all up... WOW!

God used this woman to remind me that I have a lot of things to be thankful for; my health, for one. Here's this woman inflicted with a serious disease, yet she found the strength to remain joyful in her affliction and patient in prayer. While here I am, feeling weak and vulnerable and overwhelmed with the curve balls that life has thrown my way. When the going gets tough, I tend to complain and doubt the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. It seems like my problems are minute compared to the hurdles this woman have to overcome. I am so ashamed. I couldn't help but repent (again!) for my lack of faith. Forgive me Jesus!

And thank you, Lord, for speaking to me through that woman. I am so blessed. I never got her name (sucks, I know), but I pray that she will have a miracle of healing so that she can continue to infect other people with her joy, quiet strength and thankful heart.