Yet Again


Another rough night yet again. I had another agonizing conversation with my mother last night. I was practically sobbing on the phone, begging for her to agree to be taken to the hospital. She was weeping herself, telling me that she doesn’t want to go to the hospital. She doesn’t want needles poking her, nor does she want to be subjected to all kinds of tests anymore. She is tired. She knows that she is nearing the end of her journey.

And the incredible thing is,
instead of me consoling my mother/parents, they are the ones encouraging me. In the midst of their seeming gloom and utter despair, my father and mother are still thinking about me, about my well-being. They want me to be brave, not wanting that I should worry so much, lest my health and my job be affected… Wow. Talk about unconditional love. Reminds me of Jesus, when at the brink of His death on the cross, still had the strength to intercede for us and cry out "Father, pls. forgive them for they know not what they are doing". This just blows my mind.

So, I went to bed last night, soaking my pillow with tears. I can’t even begin to describe in words how I feel anymore. All I could say was "Lord....". But He knows. He understands. And with this thought, I somehow fell asleep. When I woke up today, these words/song lyrics, kept on playing in my mind:

You are my hiding place, you shall preserve me in trouble
You shall encompass me about with songs of deliverance.
In times when I’m afraid, I will trust in You.

Think about His love, think about His goodness
Think about His grace that brought us [me] through
For as high as the heavens above,
so great is the measure of our [my] Father’s love.
Great is the measure of our [my] Father’s love.

And I pray that out of His glorious riches may Jesus strengthen my mother with power through His Spirit in her inner being, so that Christ may dwell in my mother’s heart through faith. And I pray that my mother, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that my mother may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Eph 3:16-19). AMEN.

Comments

Anonymous said…
there's this song "praise You in the storm" (casting crowns) te jes that i absolutely love and that has spoken to me in countless hard times, i hope you can hear it and read the story behind the song (it was written for a little girl with cancer). i wanna share my verse for this week with you: "but you have made me strong as a wild bull. How refreshed I am by your power! (ps. 92:10) --- when all else fails, He never will. God bless you!

"And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm"
Jescel said…
"I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day. But once again, I say amen and it's still raining...
as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you" and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away"......... Yes, I do know the song< Jazz. I have their CD. This beautiful song has ministered to me too, especially this time of my life. Thank you for the verse... I will declare this upon my family, in Jesus' name.
Anonymous said…
yes, we will indeed praise you in the storm, Lord. te jes, i was on my way home last night when the Lord reminded me to breathe a prayer for you. you are on His mind- you and your loved ones. He never fails. and as david wrote in one of the psalms, "those who look to Him will never be put to shame." mwah!
Jescel said…
Thank you Yen for being sensitive and obedient to the Holy Spirit. You guys have blessed me so much. Thank you.
Anonymous said…
likewise. ^_^ may the Lord bless you, may the Lord keep you, may Lord cause His face to shine on you and smile on you. ^_^

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