Kairos

Japan

2011-03-17T13:07:00.009-04:00

I am sure that you have been watching the news regarding the terrible events in Japan..... the earthquake... the tsunami... the radiation. Tragedy beyond words. Utter devastation.

I cannot even begin to imagine how it feels to be in the midst of that situation, let alone the sheer pain and grief of losing everything, including loved ones.

Japan is such a beautiful country with a fascinating culture and equally beautiful people. Strong. Proud. Determined. Smart. They are survivors.

They have come a long way from the Hiroshima bombing in World War II. No doubt, they will be able to overcome these horrific events and bounce back from it stronger than ever. In time

For now, they need our help.

PRAY. Pray for all those affected that they will feel the love of God in this most difficult

DONATE. For me, there is no better organization for delivering fast, effective emergency relief than the Red Cross.

Please visit the link below to learn how you can donate to the Red
Cross today.

American Red Cross
Japanese Red Cross

Time is of the essence. Basics like food and water are running out fast. Your response is needed urgently.

Every bit helps.

Mother's Day

2009-04-28T08:44:00.012-04:00

The women in Metro Life Church are going to celebrate each other as mothers, sisters, daughters and friends. We certainly like to for you to join us in this celebration. Tickets are at $12. You may order your tickets online here.

Also, in this event will be a "graduation ceremony" for all those Women who did the Beth Moore's study in Esther. I'll tell you more about the ceremony later, but suffice it to say that I'm pretty excited about it. That study was life-changing.

If you're a woman, know that you deserve to be celebrated!

Happy Mother's Day!

Fireworks!

2009-03-18T15:26:00.017-04:00

Our house almost got razed to the ground! Oh, okay, I may be exaggerating just a little bit but it could have happened, God only knows.

There was a power interruption last night in the area where we live, actually one of the very few times that I experienced black out since being here in the US. It lasted for a couple of seconds only and within a blink of an eye, the power came back on again…. so that was no biggie – until I heard something like a gurgling sound coming from the kitchen. It was very similar to that which a coffee machine makes towards the end of it’s brewing time, except much louder. So perplexed, I ran to the kitchen to check out what it was, in time to see our refrigerator burst aflame!

“Oh my God!” I thought, “ FIRE! Our house is going to burn!” My instinct was to grab a glass of water to quench the fire but instead I yelled frantically to my husband (who was upstairs at that time so he had no idea what was going on) -- “Fire! Fire! The refrigerator is on fire!!!” Joseph must have leapt down the stairs because he came in a jiffy, but still the flames had already gone out by the time he got to the kitchen. (Mind you, when all this took place, I was on the phone with my father in the Philippines, so he heard all the commotion. Talk about multi-tasking, huh?)

After turning it off, Joe inspected the fridge to see where the fire started. The source wasn’t the power outlet, which is a good thing I suppose, otherwise, it might have caused us a bigger worry. Thankfully, no damage was done to the wall behind or anything else. The flames must have emanated from the fridge itself - from the motor (or compressor, maybe). The power surge caused by the blackout must have been too much for our good old fridge.

This scared the heck out of us, of course, especially as a neighbor’s house caught fire not too long ago. (We don't know how the fire started but I bet something similar must have happened to one of their appliances).

Whew! We are so glad that there was nothing combustible around the fridge that could have caught those flames. We thank God that we were in the house when this happened. Above all, we are so grateful to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit for protection! Halleluiah!

So, we are fridge-less for right now. The upside to all this is that -- I finally get to have a new fridge! Yay! Actually, we have been wanting to buy a new one but were holding off on the expense, for a lot of reasons. But…..this incident leaves us with no choice but to get a new one.

Our poor old fridge gave up on us, and she went out with fireworks. Literally.

Call To Prayer

2009-03-05T08:36:00.013-05:00

CALL TO PRAYER
Today, March 5th, one of the most significant court cases in America’s history will take place. The California Supreme Court will hear arguments regarding the overturning of the vote of the people last year to pass Proposition 8, which defines marriage between a man and a woman. If this vote is overturned, not only will it set a major precedent of the court’s power over the will of the people, but it will likely be the flash point that will determine the future of America as liberal and homosexual agendas will disseminate throughout the educational systems and into the very fiber of American culture. The California State Senate just ruled against the peoples’ vote and asked the court to overthrow the defining of marriage as between a man and a woman. Senator Leno likened the people who voted for Prop 8 to the Germans who voted for the Nazi Regime.

During these past three months since President Obama’s election, the voices of rage against Judeo-Christian values and against the church have been emboldened to use inflammatory language and pass bills and laws that are anti-Christian in their very nature. When senators use such language, persecution is close at hand. We are in a desperate moment in American history. Everyone is pointing to the severe crisis of our economy, but I am convinced it is only an indicator of a massive moral decline America has slid into. It is time to pray, humble ourselves, and rid ourselves of moral compromise in the Church. If the salt loses its savor, it is only good for being thrown out and trampled under the foot of man.

Today we are calling the Church across the nation to pray.

Take this moment and hear His call to humility, fasting and repentance. If we do this, God can deal with kings and judges like He haunted Nebuchadnezzar with dreams and removed Herod by the angel of the Lord. This hearing today will be followed by a 90-day period in which the court must make a decision. Pray for these judges that the hand of God will influence their minds and hearts, that the fear of the Lord would fall upon them, and that dreams would invade their world, their wives, their children, and their innermost thoughts. Pray that God would restrain principalities and powers that have mustered their forces of demons to seize this nation through this door in California. Pray for an unprecedented outpouring of the Spirit in California and America. Pray that God would raise up righteous leaders and bring down the unrighteous ones. Pray for the cleansing of sexual compromise and divorce in the church so that she can reclaim spiritual authority. Finally, pray that the love of God would be poured out on those struggling with homosexuality across this nation. Oh that the power of God, the power of the gospel, would be released again to free the captives!

This is a moment in time that calls for crisis intercession.

To resign to an inevitable collapse of society is sin, for throughout history God has moved with amazing power to change the courses of nations and overthrow the wrongdoers. Just look at Elijah’s confrontation with Ahab and Jezebel. This could be our Elijah moment.

Seize the day,
Lou Engle

Biopsy

2009-02-12T17:39:00.036-05:00

I had a core biopsy done yesterday on cystic growths in my breasts.

Many of you may not know, but I am "lumpy" :oD I have multiple cysts and nodules in both my breasts. I have known about this since 2003 and had been having my annual mammogram and sonogram since then.

I dreaded the thought of having a biopsy, but I guess, this procedure became inevitable the moment my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2006 and died from it the following year. It was just a matter of time.

Last month on my breast sonogram routine exam, the doctors found multiple new growths (bilaterally), and some of those existing ones increased in size. But what really concerned them are two particular lumps, one from each breast, that look suspicious. These findings established the need for me to have biopsy done on those two lumps in question, especially given the history of my family, particularly that of my very own mother.

I first noticed the lumps during a self-examination. Looking back, I realized that it was God’s providence that led me to discover those lumps. I can never forget that day. I came from a friend's Mary Kay party, where one of the sales people, a former nurse, talked about Mary Kay's support on Breast Cancer Research and the importance of doing a self-breast examination.

Mind you, I had never done a self-exam before then - oh yes, I’ve heard of it, but I ignored them thinking that I was invincible; you know how it is when you’re younger. Plus of course, at that time, I had no idea that cancer was already lurking in my mother’s bosom – silently, slowly but surely eating her away, so to speak.

That Mary Kay sales lady would never know (God bless her!) but her talk resonated within me, so much so that the first thing I did when I came home was to do a self-exam. To my horror, I felt a knot, something akin to the size of a piece of marble. Then, I became hysterical when I realized what it is and could be. The fear of death rose up within me like a bile. I cried, I wept, I sobbed, and I called the doctor. And the rest is history.

One of the lumps in question is actually a cluster of cysts. The doctor dealt with this first but it was nothing but a normal cyst filled with liquid. The doctor aspirated the liquid with a needle. This one was definitely not a problem, thank God. On the other hand, the other one is a solid mass -- tender but solid. For this one, the doctor couldn't aspirate anything, so she had to take a core tissue sample (using an instrument fitted with a needle which they stabbed me with about 10 times!). The sample tissue was sent to the pathology for tests. The doctor confirmed that it was a good call to have this particular lump biopsied. Better be careful than sorry - and I agree wholeheartedly. I don’t have to be told about the devastation that cancer can bring about to someone's life. I have witnessed it first hand with my mother.

How am I doing, if you ask? I was a bit apprehensive going in for the procedure because of the physical pain than anything else. As it turned out, everything was much better than I expected. Thanks to Lidocaine. :o)

In all honesty though, the real battle took place in my mind. As I laid in bed while the procedure was being done, I couldn't help but think about my mother. Memories of her plight - the emotional and physical turmoil she had to go through with her fight against breast cancer - they're all still fresh in my head. Afterall, it’s only been a year since she passed away. What if the biopsy yields bad news? I wondered.

But it is in moments of weakness that our Lord's strength is made perfect. I simply cannot- MUST not - allow fear to do it's number on my mind. So I took hold of my thoughts and laid them captive in Jesus Christ. His peace came over me and held me. I know that as a child of the living God, infirmity no longer has power over me. Any curse on me or my family in form of disease or sickness, has been broken by the blood of Jesus and the power of His resurrection. This I believe with all my heart.

In a couple of days, I will be receiving the results of my biopsy. But I believe that it will just be another confirmation of God's mighty work in my life. Whose report should I believe? Of course, the report of the Lord that says "CANCER has no place in my body, His temple!".

I will praise Him with all my heart; I will glorify His name forever. For great is His love toward me; He has delivered me from the depths of the grave….” (Psalm 86: 12-13, with my paraphrase)

21-Day Daniel Fast

2009-02-05T11:10:00.018-05:00

Last Friday, my husband and I concluded our 21-day Daniel Fast. (For those who don’t know what a Daniel fast is, pls. read Daniel 1:1-15 in the bible).

We were, essentially, on a vegan diet during the period – we ate no meat/fish, no dairy and it’s products, no white flour and it’s products, no caffeine, no sodas – no processed foods with artificial additives and preservatives. It was challenging but in the end, we liked it. It is a very healthy way to eat.

This has been the 3rd year that my husband and I have fasted at the start of each year. We didn’t plan or even talk about it, it just happened that way. I’d like to believe that we were just going with the leading of the Holy Spirit. :o)

Personally, I have done several ways of fasting at varying lengths of time. There is just simply humbling in denying our flesh from what it needs in order to draw closer to our God, enhance our spirit and go deeper in our prayer life. God is glorified every time we decide to take our eyes off of the things in this world and consecrate ourselves to focus on Him and seek His divine direction. Let me tell you, He always shows up! He never fails.

Each fasting experience is something special. But this year, it was even made more special because we did not do it by ourselves. We joined a church-wide fast. Our new home church, Metro Life Church, has been fasting at the beginning of each year and we were so privileged to be a part of it this time around.

Those who joined the fast were each given prayer journals to jot their encounters with God. Also each day had a prayer focus/theme so that as one body, we could intercede on things that concern not just the church but the whole world as well. It is a nice feeling to go beyond just fasting for myself, but rather, to be a part of a bigger picture and a higher purpose. Just knowing that you’re not in it alone is a huge encouragement in itself.

Can you imagine how powerful our worship services were, especially during the time of fast? When a congregation of spiritually hungry (pun not intended), a people desperate for God comes together to lift Him up – whew! You can be sure that God will move in a mighty way!

If you have not tried it, I encourage you to do it. Although biblical fasting almost always focuses on abstaining from food, but there are other ways to fast. Anything that you temporarily give up in order to better focus on God can be considered a fast. You don’t have to do a 21-day or a 40-day fast immediately. Take baby steps. I guarantee you, the results will be amazing because that’s our God – He is amazing!

If you’d like to share your fasting experience here, please do so… It’d be awesome… (and for information about fasting, pls. visit Jentzen Franklin. There’s a chockfull of information there that I’m sure will answer your questions regarding this topic)

Kung Hei Fat Choi

2009-01-26T12:47:00.017-05:00

- means "Happy New Year" in Chinese.

Today is the first day of the lunar calendar, the Chinese New Year.

New Year is the most important holiday for Chinese people. The celebrations usually lasts for 15-days complete with colorful traditions and lots of food symbolic of prosperity, abundance and good fortune for the year. Chinese culture is indeed one of the richest in the world – it is full of traditions and superstitions all rolled in one.

The Chinese lunar calendar is pretty unique in that each year is marked by one of the 12 zodiac animal. Legend has it that lord Buddha summoned all the animals to come to him before he departed from earth, and that only 12 came. So they were rewarded by having to rule a year, in the order that they arrived.

It is believed that the animal ruling the year in which a person is born will have a profound influence on his/her personality because “it is the animal that hides in his/her heart.” In the same manner, the animal and its personality is supposedly a preindication of how that year is going to unfold.

Year 2009, as you may know, is the Year of the Ox. Ox is symbolized as a hardworking, stubborn, strong, honest animal. While I don’t put my faith in the Chinese calendar and its predictions, I can only hope that it is right this time. With the challenges we all are facing, there is going to be hard work involved for sure, but I do pray that this year will turn out to be a year of stability and strength for all of us.

Incidentally, President Obama was born on the Year of the Ox. Pretty intersting, wouldn't you say?

We Must! We Must!

2009-01-20T09:10:00.010-05:00

Here's a cry that echoes the prayers of my heart.... Thanks, Happy, for the reminder.

Words fall short in depicting the urgency of the hour.

We must wake up,Church! We must wake up from our comfortable stupor, step up and set ourselves apart for God's SOLE USE.

We must shake off every hint of worldliness and carnality and allow the Holy Spirit to fill us so we can be RELEVANT in this hour.

We must wake up from our self-absorption and self-centeredness.

There must be a holy restlessness in us that will shout, ENOUGH! towards our addictions and sins that so easily cause us to grow cold in our passion for Jesus. The little compromises must begin to be magnified in our perception so we can feel the weight of God's conviction once again.

We MUST HEED the voice of the Holy Spirit! We MUST CONSECRATE ourselves once again! We MUST OBEY in this hour!

We MUST HUMBLE DOWN AND REPENT!

And Why MUST WE? Because it is our divine destiny to turn this nation to God!

We need to step up, speak up, and ACT UP.

LET GOD'S MIGHTY ARMY ARISE IN THE MIDST OF INCREASING LAWLESSNESS!
LET THE NAZIRITES COME FORTH!
LET THE PROPHETS SPEAK FORTH!
LET THE SUMMONS OF HEAVEN UPON THE PHILIPPINES -AND AMERICA- BE HEARD THROUGH THE CHURCH!

Midnight "Crisis"

2009-01-09T12:00:00.014-05:00

It was 1:30am. I was in that state between deep sleep and consciousness. I heard the phone ring, but faintly. It seemed like it came from a cave, the ring sounded hollow and far.

But the ringing got louder, until it got too loud that I jolted up from my bed. It wasn’t a dream. Our phone was indeed ringing, slicing through the stillness of the night.

I’ve had too many incidents like this in the past 2-3 years – from when my mother was fighting her life due to breast cancer, and later on, my father having his own medical crisis as well. So, hearing the phone ring in the middle of the night brought back the all too familiar feeling of doom. Fear flooded my soul in an instant. My heart began to pound so heavy in my chest, like someone beating my bosom with a 2x4 piece of wood. My thoughts are immediately with my father in the Philippines. Whatever it is, I prayed quickly “Lord, I hope it’s nothing serious.”

I jumped out of the bedroom, made my way to the next room, all while blindly groping both for the light switch and the phone at the same time. The room next to ours is a guest-room-turned-home-office. We don’t keep a phone extension inside our bedroom. Like I said, I’ve had too many emergency calls in the middle of the night before that I don’t want my husband to anymore be unnecessarily disturbed. One person in the family stressed out is enough.

Anyway, the phone was on its 4th ring, I believe. I hurried to pick it up, but alas, I was too late. The ringing stopped. I checked the caller I.D. immediately and found out that the call wasn’t from the Philippines. Whew. I heaved a sigh of big relief, but the adrenalin was still rushing within me, and I could still feel my heart like a horse racing in the Kentucky derby. But wait, I know the person. The caller ID says the call came from a Filipina friend, the pastor’s wife in a Miami Filipino church, as a matter of fact. Then I though, it must be an emergency, otherwise, she wouldn’t be calling me in this unholy hour. Maybe she needs prayer, so I have to call her back.

And call her back I did. The phone rang on the other line, and it was picked up by a gentleman.

“Hello.” Oh good, it’s the husband, Pastor C, I thought.

“Good evening, Pastor C…Pwede makausap si R? Tumawag kasi siya kanina, eh” (May I speak with R? She called me earlier.)

“Hah? Who are you calling?” Then I realized, the man had a heavy accent – a Latino, no doubt. From what Latin American country, I cannot tell.

“Is this 786-287- _ _ _ _? My brows are furrowed in confusion. The people I’m calling are supposedly Filipinos. So why is this Latino guy answering the call?

“Eh… (thinking)… yes.” The man on the other line said, but he sounded unsure.

“Oh, I apologize. I must have dialed the wrong number. I’m sorry. Good night”. Then I hung up. Dang! Let me check the number again. In the meantime, my heart is still pounding, but not as bad anymore.

I just woke up, and it’s a big possibility that I may have messed up the numbers when I dialed. (To be honest, I think I’m also a bit dyslexic sometimes.). Besides, if someone needs me, I want to be able to help. What if someday the situation is reversed and it’s me who needs help? (God forbid) I want somebody to be there for me too!

I checked the caller ID for the 2nd time. I had the right number!!! That’s weird. Anyhow, I decided to call again. So I dialed, making sure this time that I hit the right button.

“… ello” Now that accent is familiar. It’s the same guy. Oh no!

My impulse was to hang up immediately without saying a word, but that would be rude. I hate that. So, I said with hesitation, “Hello, good evening. Is R there?”

“Oh, it’s you again. Hehehe. What’s wrong with you?!” The man said in a heavy accent, with a slight hint of irritation.

“I’m truly sorry. It’s just that I got a call from this number earlier. The caller ID is from a person I know. I thought there might be an emergency. That’s why I called back”. The man’s English was not that good. So, I spoke real slow, enunciating every word to make sure he understands me.

“Ahhh… what this number again? He asked. I gave him our phone number.

“Ahhhh… I call earlier. But I call wrong number.” Dang!

“Oh, so you were the one who woke me up. And here I am thinking it was an emergency call from a friend”. Without warning, the words flowed out of my mouth sarcastically.

Then the man said “I’m sorry. I call wrong number.”

“Ok. Thank you.” Then I hung up.

I got back to bed. My husband was sleeping like a log, completely oblivious to the world. While I was now totally awake.

I so wanted to kill that man. :oP

A Basketful Of Blessings

2009-01-01T13:39:00.021-05:00

Here's one of the many traditions that we have at home growing up in the Philippines.

For as long as I can remember, my mother had always made it a point to have a fruit basket/tray for the New Year. This basket would contain the very select of fruits that she's able to find in the market. Soon after Christmas, she would start preparing this basket with a lot of TLC (tender loving care). Her goal is to have 12 different kinds of fruits which are to be ripe when the New Year comes along.

These 12 fruits were to represent each month of the incoming year, reason why it is important for each fruit to be perfect and sweet. It is a wish for our family to have each month of the year be blessed -- and sweet. I call this my Mom's basketful of blessings.

I made one this year, in memory of my mother.

So with this basketful of blessings, Joe and I would like to wish you a very Happy , Jesus-blessed New Year. May 2009 indeed be a year of expansion, new levels/heights and divine favors for you and your family!!

Good job, Joe!

2008-12-30T18:14:00.023-05:00

Let me take this time to praise my husband.

It has been almost 10 years since Joseph started working as a DSL service tech with the former Bellsouth, now AT&T. For the most part, this job has indeed been a blessing to us, to our family.

But there are times that he gets frustrated over his work. The repetition, the routine, the sometimes unreasonably demanding supervisors and managers and above all, the rude attitude of customers - all these factors combined have turned his job from an initially interesting endeavor into a dreadfully wearisome task, making his job an unpleasant experience – AT TIMES.

That’s why it was a joy to receive a letter from AT&T citing Joseph as among the top 10 of their crew who gave the BEST CUSTOMER SERVICE this past month. (This isn’t the first time, by the way. I just never blogged about it before). It's been a while since AT&T has done this for their crew. I am so glad that the management has decided to revive this practice.

A little remuneration was given for the effort, but it’s not so much about the reward itself, but it is in knowing that the company recognizes the hard work and dedication he pours into his job that is valuable to him, and I dare say, to the rest of the crew as well.

With all the pressures he gets in his kind of work – I would say this one is definitely hard-earned.

Keep up the good work, Babe! You know that the Lord will reward all that you do, when you do it as unto Him. Promotion comes from Him.

Luv Yah! ... and I'm looking forward to more gift cards in the coming months… :oD

Enough!

2008-12-24T11:50:00.004-05:00

“Happy Holidays”.
This is now the political way of greeting someone during this season.

It is a fact, many have gotten scared of the CHRIST in Christmas.
Christmas tree is now a holiday tree.
No longer are there Christmas parties, but holiday parties.
In school, children sing "we wish you a happy holiday!"
The Christ in Christmas has been obliterated and replaced with a more generic, non-offensive term “holiday”.

As a Christian, are you okay with this? I am not.

Christmas is Christmas because of the birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus CHRIST. It is His birthday. Christmas is a holiday for Christians who believe that Jesus came into this world as the Messiah who died on the cross to redeem mankind from all their sins.

Now, tough if you don’t believe in Jesus -- but that’s a different issue altogether. Face it, wherever you go, there is bound to be someone whose belief, religion or spiritual principle is different than yours. But what are you going to do? Should you change every religious holiday names just so it won't cross your own? NO!

I am not Jewish, but I call Hannukah as it is… I am not black, but I call Kwanza as Kwanza. I am not a Muslim, but Ramadan to me is that - Ramadan. So just as I respect the other religious holidays, you ought to respect this season and call it for what it really is – CHRISTmas! Please.... don’t go around changing the term “Christmas” to suit your personal preferences.

Enough is enough.

I say “Merry Christmas” to you, regardless of your race or religion, because that’s what this season is!

And if you are offended, then I apologize. But it is what it is…so deal with it!

Life's Journey And A Grateful Heart

2008-11-27T01:08:00.017-05:00

Once years ago when my friends and I were on an island vacation, we decided to go on an excursion to see a waterfall. This waterfall, we were told, was in a secluded spot in the middle of the island’s forest, and that, its water cascades down to form a beautiful pool at its foot where one may swim.

But despite its beauty, the locals told us that not a lot go there because it is not very accessible. We were too consumed with excitement to even recognize the warning behind these words. So on we go, only to find out soon enough that the trek was far from being simple. It turned out to be a challenging one - especially for city girls like us – with all the difficult climbs up the hill, slippery paths and hours and hours of walking. Now we know why not a lot of people frequent the spot.

I was hot and tired and my knees felt like they were going to give out on me. But it was in the midst of my exhaustion that my eye caught sight of a pretty little pink flower growing among the bushes and weeds. The flower wasn’t particularly special, but somehow seeing that flower suddenly opened my eyes to the beauty of the Lord’s creation around me. I then began to notice the ray of sunshine that penetrated through the canopy of leaves above us, the chirping of the birds and the occasional wind that blows in our faces. I even began to notice how green the leaves of the trees were in that part of the world, and in its simplicity, how beautiful the flowers growing randomly here and there seem to be.

At that moment, I just felt so deeply grateful to GOD for my life, for the ability to see the beauty of His creation around me. I was so thankful to Him that I could have sworn then my heart swelled.

I was very engrossed in this state of blissful appreciation that I forgot how tired I was. The journey to the waterfalls became swifter, easier. Soon, or so it seemed, we reached our destination.

Looking back, I realized that life is very much like the trek I had to the waterfalls. Yes, life is full of its ups and downs, of unexpected trials and tribulations. But with a thankful heart to the Lord and a grateful spirit, we can overcome. We will overcome. We can look at the challenges that we face as opportunities for us to grow. The insurmountable can become surmountable; the impossible, possible. A thankful heart creates an atmosphere of miracle in our lives.

I am grateful to God for EVERYTHING He has done in me, about me, around me and through me. Without Him, I am nothing. So on this Thanksgiving day, I would like to make mention some of the things that I am especially thankful to Him for, such as:

*Jesus’ blood and His sacrifice for me on the Cross
*My husband and our life together, and the children that He will bless us with
*My parents and their salvation; for my father’s improving health after his leg
amputation a few months ago
*God’s provision through our jobs
*Family and friends; for the church family
*For the Lord’s favor and random blessings in our lives
*For increase and promotion even in the midst of economic depression in the country – a testimony to God’s sovereignty. I’m thankful that my economy does not depend on
this country’s but on the Lord’s.

There are still so many more there is not enough space to write them all here. Suffice it to say, that if we only remember to count our blessings.... then we'll realize that we've got so much of it to even begin to do so. :o)

With this, let me wish you and your family a Happy Thanksgiving Day. May you remain thankful to Him not just today, but everyday of your life.

The New Day

2008-11-06T14:13:00.016-05:00

The American people have spoken, and have spoken clearly indeed. Barack Obama is the President-elect.

The other day, I witnessed as history unfolded before my very eyes. For the very first time in this country, an African-American had been elected as President. A hundred years ago, who would have thought that this would be possible? But Barack Obama proved that indeed, with hard work and determination, everything can be made possible. Obama has successfully carved a name for himself in this nation’s history. And I applaud him for it.

But I have to admit, I was in tears as I listened to McCain’s concession speech. I wished things went differently for this man who endured so much to serve this country. But now that everything has been said and done, it's time to move on. McCain is right. In his speech he urged his fellow Americans “to offer our goodwill and our earnest efforts, to find ways to come together….to bridge our differences to help restore our prosperity, defend our security in a dangerous world and leave our children and grandchildren a stronger and better country than we inherited”.

As the President-elect, I will give Obama the respect that he deserves. I have no doubt that I will not agree with him a hundred percent, but I wholeheartedly wish him well. But while this is so, it doesn’t mean that I will allow my godly ideals to be compromised. I will continue to fight for the unborn and for the institution of marriage to remain as God has designed it to be : between a man and a woman.

Above all, I will intercede for our new President and pray that may God give him wisdom as he takes over the most important job in the whole world – as President of the United States of America.

I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions,
and giving of thanks, be made for all men; For kings, and for all that are in
authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and
honesty. For this is good and acceptable in the sight of God our Saviour" (I
Timothy 2:1-3).

But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of
his heart through all generations (Ps. 33:11)

Let us not forget that no matter what, the government for the people, of the
people and by the people ultimately belongs to no one else but God – and
He alone is in control!

God bless you, President-elect Obama. And God bless America!

I VOTED EARLY

2008-10-30T13:39:00.011-04:00

I voted early!

Yes, Joe and I have cast our votes yesterday, after 2-1/2 hours of waiting. It was not that bad, after all, we were inside the library in a line that wound through a maze of books, audio CDs and videos… (Hey, they have adult movie videos in the library??!! That was a shocker)

Anyhow, it felt good to exercise my right as a citizen. I took a stand and let my voice be heard… all without even uttering a word!

This was my very first time to vote in the U.S., and may I say, for not just any other elections. By the voter turn-out, it's obvious that this is a very important election for Americans, the results of which will be a turning point in the history of this nation.

Now you might ask, who did I vote for? Well, let me tell you - I voted for NEITHER of the candidates. What??? By this I mean that I voted not for any personality, not for any party nor for any platform.

As a child of God, my real party affiliation is with Jesus and His Word, the Bible. Thus, I would vote for any one whose principles line up according to the word of God.

For what use will it be if we GAIN THE WHOLE WORLD BUT SUFFER THE LOSS OF OUR OWN SOULS????

Let me quote a friend, Laura Dahne. Below is an excerpt of her newsletter:

God’s heart and His Law are very clear on three fronts: 1) Murder is forbidden;
2) Israel must be protected; 3) Marriage is only to be defined as a union between
a man and a woman.

This sure simplifies things, huh?

…Joshua went up to him and asked, “Are you friend or foe?”
Joshua 6:13

In the above passage, Joshua asked the question, “Are you friend or foe?” And the answer was given, “I’m neither one, I am commander of the LORD’s army.” How interesting that this mighty angel of God did not even consider the question of whether Joshua was friend or foe, for the angel saw his role as servant to God as first and foremost. His like or dislike for Joshua had nothing to do with his position of serving God.

It must be the same for us.

I always wonder why people would want to live in a Kingdom called Heaven in the next life to come, if they don’t value the Kingdom of Heaven and its values here on earth. So out of reverence for the King, His Kingdom, and His values, it’s a no-brainer.

I voted for McCain.

I chose McCain simply because McCain is in line with God’s heart and Law. Jesus once taught us to pray “let Your will be done here on earth as it is in Heaven”. It is time we do this.

Let your declarations be demonstrated through your actions. Vote for the glory of GOD!

VOTE WISELY

2008-10-20T13:51:00.014-04:00

Today marks the beginning of the early voting for the US Presidential elections here in Florida.

I don’t want to go delve into a discussion of who you should elect, but I just want to encourage you to vote. Exercise your right as a citizen of this country. Participate because you care.

And as a Christian, please choose the candidate whose principles are in line with the word of God. Choose the one who fears (reverends) Jesus Christ, Our Lord. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you wisdom and guide you in this very important choice.

And most of all pray. Pray for this nation. Pray that the RIGHTEOUS one will prevail; that the one who wins is truly the one whom the Lord has appointed to govern this nation during this very crucial time in history.

When the righteous are in authority, the
people rejoice: but when the wicked beareth rule,

the people mourn.

(Proverbs 29:2)

IN GOD WE TRUST!

September Days...

2008-10-06T00:19:00.036-04:00

Wow, September has quickly come and gone.

I've barely noticed the month that ushered in the Christmas season. Yep, in the Philippines, Christmas rolls in as soon as the month of the year begins ending in "-ber". So, let me be the first one to greet you 'MAAYONG PASKO!!!' (that's MERRY CHRISTMAS in my dialect).

September was a very hectic month for me.

I came back from the Philippines just a week and a half ago. My trip lasted for a little more than 5 weeks. I wish I can say it was a vacation, but it wasn’t. If you are unaware of the circumstances why I went home, just check out my previous blog here and here.

For the past two years, I’ve had a total of 5 trips to the Philippines. You might say that I should be jet-lag proof by now..but nah. I don't think our body is ever going to get used to the stress of 30+hours travelling time, not to mention that your air flight spans across the equator totaling 13,000 miles of distance. Thankfully though my body has become resilient to this change, and I'm coping up better and better with the jet lag. So I'm almost back to "normal" now.

As always, it’s hard to leave your homeland behind, especially if you have aging parents that you care for. Regardless of how many times I’ve come and gone, it hasn't become any easier, especially since my father has become a widower, and is now handicapped. However, I was at peace to leave him behind, knowing that his health has improved a lot since his hospitalization and that he is being taken cared of very well. He is certainly much better than he was a month ago, albeit, missing about ¼ of his right leg.

My father’s recovery I consider yet another miracle in our lives. Once again, the Lord is amazing in His faithfulness. In time of need, He has never failed to bless us through friends and family. To all those who have supported us in prayers and finances, may God indeed return the favor to you a hundredfold.

September also marked my mother's 1st year death anniversary, September 20th to be exact. While I was in the Philippines, my family and I had a chance to commemorate her death. We had a sort of a small family reunion that day. It was wonderful to see a lot of my relatives again. But while we all miss my mother in one way or another, there is a great reassurance in our hearts knowing that she is indeed in the best place she could be – in heaven with Jesus. Halleluiah!

Shortly after this, another tragedy struck my family. On Sept. 25th, a cousin of mine passed away due to colo-rectal cancer. At 51, one would say that he was still young. He discovered that he had this terminal disease only in August last year, but at that time, cancer had already spread to some of his vital organs. He was based in Long Beach, California and was flown to the Philippines to spend his last days there. But he took his last breath immediately the following day after his arrival from the U.S. He must have just waited until he was home.

So you see, September was an eventful month filled with victories interwoven with trials. God doesn't need to create tragedies in our lives to achieve His purposes, but I am so glad that He can use the negative circumstances we are in and turn them around for His glory.

In all things and at all times and in every way, I give Him thanks and praise.

God is good. He was, is, and remains to be, worthy of all our praises.

Road To Recovery

2008-09-12T13:10:00.010-04:00

It's been my intention to keep you updated as often as I can as to my going ins and outs here in the Philippines, but alas, I didn’t anticipate that I would be so busy acting as my father’s nurse…. So hold on tight, as this post will be a little long.

Just when I think that I’ve already had enough skills to get me by (:o), then I learn some more that I think my resume should be looking better and better..… that is, IF nursing/care giving skills can be added to it. It should be pretty impressive for someone who didn't go to nursing school, or had caregiving training. Hahaha... Anyway, here's some updates on my father since my last post.

My father stayed in the hospital for a total of 16 days. His BKA (below knee amputation, one of the medical jargons I picked up) went well, thank God. His wound is healing good. Another huge praise the Lord right there! However, the doctors felt the need for him to stay a little over a week more in the hospital because of the many other infections his body had developed in the course of his 9-month battle with a gangrenous leg.

In my previous blog, I mentioned about my dad’s low hemoglobin (hematocrete) count despite the 4 bags of blood transfusion he’s had (his remained at 9.8, normal would be 14-15) . Doctors said that the only way this is happening is because of an internal bleeding. The doctors suspected a recurrence of his colon cancer, which would explain the bleeding, that’s why they deemed it necessary to do a colonoscopy procedure. (Well, I watched the procedure and now I can say that I know my father inside and out! )

Anyway, the specialist found only 2 very little flat polyps in his intestines. Those were biopsied and apparently, they were nothing to be alarmed about. But the most important thing is that there is no source of active bleeding found in his intestines and NO sign of cancer! Halleluiah! This was a huge relief for me to know, especially as after my dad’s colon surgery last year, my dad and I decided that he will not do any chemo treatment at all.

But while this was a relief, it still hadn’t solved our original problem: the source of bleeding. And so my father was submitted to another procedure, this time, a gastro-esophageal endoscopy. Doctors said this was also important because cancer can also spread upwards in the stomach and esophagus region. I actually panicked a little when I heard this, especially as my dad completely lost appetite and had difficulty swallowing food in the last 2-3 months. And so the endoscopy was done -- with much prayer from me!

Finally, we got the answer, and some. But first of all, there’s NO cancer, thank you Jesus! The endoscopy revealed my father’s badly eroded and swollen stomach (H-pylori disease). Apparently, his ulcers had been bleeding for quite a while now - which was no surprise because he had not been eating properly yet, he was taking so many strong medications. Because of his swollen stomach, his cardia (the entry to the stomach) also shrunk a lot. Along with this, fungi (candidiasis) was also found forming like a plaque attaching themselves to the walls of his throat and esophagus. Plus, he also developed pneumonia.

You may have seen the photo I posted of my dad in one of my earlier entries- he was very malnourished and pale. His immune system was down making him vulnerable to all kinds of infections, thus explaining all those bacteria/fungi that feasted on him.

Needless to say, he was pumped with so much antibiotics, and coupled with his pain killers, my father was in the lala world. For days he was talking in his sleep, sometimes all night, and he was hallucinating so much that at times the things he claimed to have seen would scare us. To witness my father like that was amusing (due to the things he would say or do) but largely disheartening. I thought at one point that my father was in the early stages of senility brought about by all the drugs he was given.

It seemed like an eternity before the doctor gave us the release orders, but finally, my father was cleared to go home on August 27th. He was still very weak then, and we had to continue feeding him through is NGT (nasal gastric tube). Yes, he had to be fed through a tube in his nose to ensure that he gets back proper nutrition along with all the medications he needs to take.

I now know how to prepare food for NGT (which includes blending and sieving, but the real tricky part is counting the calories that go into the mix to make sure my father gets the correct amount of calories required for the day.. so for this, I had to learn the food exchange). The doctor also taught me how to insert the tube through his nose (as it needs to be changed every two weeks), but this I haven’t had the courage to do myself.

Feeding my father through the NGT proved to be very challenging, not just mentally but mostly physically. Because his stomach has shrunk a lot due to lack of food for several months, he cannot be given so much food at one time. Thus, his food needs to be given at 4 hours interval in 6 different times – which included one feeding time at 12 midnight, and another at 4am. And in between, I had to check his blood sugar to determine whether he needs an insulin shot or not, plus he calls out for help when he needs to pee, which was often. I’m not kidding, our house felt like a hospital. So you can just imagine how messed up my sleeping pattern was.

For days I was doing all the feeding, injections, medications by myself, as I had no help. The day my father was admitted to the hospital, my caregiver (the girl I hired) was recalled by her own father to go home; her mother was (still is) also very sick. I have one male cousin staying with us, but I couldn’t trust him to do all the minute details of my father’s medications, especially on the feeding (it's a female-oriented task, in my opinion). Later on though, a niece of mine became available – and she has been a huge help however, at night, both sleep like a log. I’m the lightest sleeper of us all, so every time my father calls out for something, I’m the one who’s up most of the time! So, since arriving from the US, I was only getting at best 3-4 hours rest, believe me or not.

And you know, our bodies could only take so much exhaustion. Mine finally gave out last weekend. I got sick – I developed tonsillitis, my entire body ached I felt like I had been beaten with a 2x4, and of course, I was running a fever too. Fortunately, this happened just in time when my caregiver finally came back! I was down and out for maybe 3-4 days, but I thank God that my caregiver and my cousins rose up to the challenge and took care of my dad, while I get my needed rest. Finally.

My father is now so much better than 3 weeks ago. As soon as he was off his painkillers and antibiotics, the hallucination went away. Praise the Lord! He looks much better – his normal skin color is back, he has filled out a little bit on his cheeks, and he is much stronger. His pneumonia is gone, he’s no longer coughing and his appetite is back! He is allowed to eat soft foods while still feeding through the NGT. In fact, just this week, the doctor reduced his NGT calorie intake because he has been eating more and more (through the mouth). His NGT is just temporary. It’ll be removed as soon as he can already eat a full meal 3x a day. I pray this will be soon.

Next week, the stitches on his leg stump will be removed. So that’s another thing that I thank God is happening while I will be here. The next thing for my father is rehabilitation. He needs to do some exercises to strengthen his muscles so he can balance himself on one leg; he also needs to learn to walk using the walker/crutches which will also prepare him for a possible prosthesis in the future.

So this is it for now. For all those who have prayed and have helped us in one way or another, I thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. Please continue to help me lift up my father in prayer so that his road to recovery will be easy, his journey swift.

God bless you and thank you for sharing your time with me by reading this post. :oD

Scaling A Wall

2008-08-19T18:25:00.004-04:00

Hi All..

Just incase you all are wondering what’s up with us and my father, here’s the latest situation.

As you all know, he had his BKA (below the knee amputation) last Saturday, Aug 16th. I know that in my last email/post, I wrote below the ankle – that was a mistake, I was sleepy ;o). The surgery went uneventful, thank GOD. The doctor didn’t find it necessary to cut above the knee. According to him, the condition of his leg a couple of inches below the knee is okay.

So my father is now recovering. He was in pain only the day after the surgery. But he was given so much painkiller (Nubaine, Tramadol– both downers) that he felt comfortable, but totally in lala land. Hahahaa.. At one point, he was hallucinating.

My father’s surgical wound is looking good, but he’s not totally out of the woods yet. There’s another issue that the doctors are dealing with right now. Since having been admitted to the hospital Tuesday of last week (Aug 11th), he has had 3 blood transfusions. But inspite of this, his hematocrete level is still lower than normal. In simple terms, he is anemic—and his stool is dark. So the doctors suspect either of these two things:
1) that his ulcer is bleeding. He has been taking so many medications these past 9 months without proper solid intake that his stomach could be utterly irritated, thus the bleeding. Or; 2) that this bleeding has something to do with his colon cancer. He maybe developing another cyst/ tumor in his intestines somewhere that is causing the bleeding.

So today (Aug 19th), my father is going to have another colonoscopy. They would have wanted to do an endoscopy as well, but I just asked the doctor to do the more important one first as we have limited finances. The gastro-intestinal specialist thinks that it is more important to do a colonoscopy due to his CA history; and also because my father has no complaint about having stomach pains or heartburn. She said that having bleeding ulcers would cause a lot of pain in the upper area of the abdomen – and my father totally doesn’t feel any pain in that area whatsoever. So colonoscopy it is.

Since my father’s colon cancer was diagnosed on June 2007, and after the mass was taken out, we never really dealt with it. At that time my mother was fighting for her life as well due to breast cancer so it was more urgent to deal with her first. I refused to have both of them subjected to chemotheraphy and having both of them very weak at the same time. Also, at that timedoctor said my dad’s cancerous mass was localized and it was in its earlier stages so it was not urgent to give him chemo. But really, I didn’t (and still don't) want to put him through chemotheraphy, seeing that my mother’s deterioration went faster after having been subjected to that chemical assassination.

As you can see, there is another mountain looming in our horizon. But the bible says that “He (the Lord) has trained by arms for battle and my fingers for war… and with His help I can advance against a troop and scale a wall!” (ps 144:1; Ps18:29) Intimidating as it is, I am holding fast to Jesus, my only hope in this situation.

If you would find it in your heart, please join me in my prayers for my father for a miracle of healing in his spirit, soul and body. Your intercession really helps me have the strength to speak to this mountain so that it shall be moved.

And it will, in Jesus’ name!

Thank you and till my next update.

God bless us all.

Leg Amputation

2008-08-15T12:25:00.003-04:00

Hi everyone..

I arrived in the Philippines safe and sound, thank God. The planed landed promptly today, Aug 15th at 7:00pm as scheduled (Fri 7am US Eastern Time), but with immigration and luggage, i got out of the airport around 7:30pm - not too bad. From the airport, I went directly to the hospital to see my father.

I was surprised to learn that his surgery is scheduled already tomorrow, Saturday 7am (Fri 7:00PM your time). I also learned that the leg amputation only calls for a regionalized anethesia (epidoral in the spine). So while this still involves some risks due to his heart condition, it isn't as great as having a procedure that calls for general anesthesia. Thank God for that.

I was so taken aback by how my father looks. He is literally skin and bones. It stinks big time seeing your parents (loved ones) getting older and in failing health at that... I haven't been able to speak with his Orthologist since it was late when I came to the hospital and they couldn't get in touch with him (sheesh) so I'll make sure to speak with him tomorrow before the surgery. As of now, I was told that they are going to cut just below the ankle. But I just want to make sure that they remove all the infected areas or that they cut at the part where there is enough blood circulation to guarantee the healing of his leg. We don't want to be back in the hospital a few months from now because not all the infection were taken out/or the wound is not healing. GOD FORBID that this will happen.

So this comes with a request that you please lift up my father in prayer; that all will go well and that there will be no complications; that the doctors will have wisdom and that the healing of my father is going to be quick. Pls. also pray for favor, that all our needs will be met.

Thanks.

Happy Birthday, Mama...

2008-08-08T23:54:00.006-04:00

I just wanted to take time to remember my mother, who would have been celebrating her 76th birthday today, had she lived long enough. But God has other plans for her. But while I know that she is in the best place she could ever be, I cannot help but still miss her and wish that she was still with us.

Happy birthday, Mother. We love and miss you so much.

Prayer Request

2008-08-05T01:06:00.011-04:00

I'd like to ask for your prayers for my father. He will need to have his leg amputated asap. The wound on his heel from a surgery almost a year ago has gotten a lot worse and the doctors said that the only solution at this point is to have his leg removed, to prevent the wound from getting septic. Once the infection gets into his bloodstream, this would be fatal.

So, I'm again taking an emergency trip to the Philippines. Words escape me right now from exactly expressing to you how I feel. Suffice it to say, we need your help in praying for my father, and for provisions to meet our needs financially and otherwise.

I will try my best to give you an update of his condition while I'm in the Philippines.

Thank you and your prayers are much appreciated. God bless.

God Bless The USA

2008-07-18T09:28:00.018-04:00

July 18, 2008 marked another milestone in my life. Today, I have become a naturalized citizen of America. USA has become not just my home, but my adopted country as well.

The oath-taking ceremony was held in Miami-Dade County auditorium ealier today. It was packed with 1,200 people from 52 different countries -- immigrants from all over the world who have come to America to discover the promise of this great Nation. I cannot help but marvel as I looked at the huge multi-cultural, multi-racial group and wonder, "What circumstances made them come to the US"? Whatever they are, I am sure that they are as valid as mine are.

During the program, I struggled as I recited the Oath Of Allegiance. The words brought tears to my eyes as I said....“I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state or sovereignty. I take this obligation freely without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me God.” ....It was a poignant moment, reminiscent to that of how I felt in the airport 6 years ago, when I left my parents behind to come to the US.

Truth be told, reaching the decision to become a US citizen had not been easy. I was torn in the inside as I have always been proud of my background, proud of my heritage as a Filipino despite the many negative things about my homeland, the Philippines. But like everyone in the group, I have my reasons why I have to take this step; reasons that are worth the sacrifice.

One of those reasons is the very words that I uttered when I got married. During my wedding, I declared to God and to my husband the very same vow that Ruth in the Bible told Naomi "Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.”... Today, I have fulfilled that vow. I am embracing the country and people of the man that I chose to love and to be with for the rest of my life. For God has called me here to be with him and so shall it be.

So today was a day of mixed emotions, a bittersweet one. I know that in my heart, I will always be a Filipino for God has created me as one and nothing can change that. But I have resolved to love this country, to which I now belong.

I pledge my allegiance to the American flag and to the republic for which it stands.

I am proud to be an American and am grateful to be a part of the history of this nation.

(Read Joe's take on the Naturalization Ceremony)

Chris Tomlin

2008-07-09T12:15:00.024-04:00

I was listening to Chris Tomlin’s song online today, and thought of how remarkable the achievements are of this young man. He is reportedly the most sung Christian Artist, not only in the US but across the globe. His songs are sung in churches and have been translated in many different languages. His music, most of them written and composed by him, gives us a glimpse of this man’s heart. He is, in my humble opinion, a modern-day David. God bless him.

I don't know why but I just randomly googled him. I, of course, eventually went to the ultimate source, Wikipidea. This was where I found this interesting tidbit of news, or rumor, however you’d call it. I don’t know if you’re already aware of this, but here’s the scoop. According to Wiki --

In May 2008, it was announced that Tomlin and his band would be leaving the church he helped plant with senior pastor Matt Carter in Austin, Texas; The Austin Stone Community Church. He'd be leaving in order to start a new church with Passions Conference speaker, Louie Giglio in Atlanta, Georgia.

I researched this information further and came across a blog, that of Human3rror confirming this rumor.

Wow, if this is indeed the case, then Georgia is really blessed to have these two influential men of God start a church in their turf.

I see another mega-church coming. Like Georgia needs another one.

Pretty crazy.

Surprise Attack

2008-07-06T13:08:00.016-04:00

Whoever said that having a dog is like having a baby can never be more right. I mean, as cute and as lovable my dog, Prince, is, but he can be a such a handful sometimes. He requires so much attention and tender loving care… much like a baby!

Prince got it all easy – he plays, eats, poops and sleeps – that’s what his world is all about. The worse thing is, he doesn’t know how to adapt to my sleeping patterns, much less know if it is a weekend or a holiday, for crying out loud! He thinks that he has every right to demand that he be walked at 7:00AM regardless of what day it is! So, even if it is a weekend and my only chance to sleep in, I have to, against my will, get up so he can have his nature bonding and do his bathroom business at the same time. Otherwise, if I ignore his yelping and yapping, I will for sure be paying for it later. So unless I want to be cleaning pee and picking up poop inside my house, I gotta have to drag my butt out of the bed!

So this Sunday morning was no different. I must have been still half-asleep when I went out of the house.. with our dog leading me. Holidays and weekends are great, but it does mess up my sleeping pattern. You know how that goes – no work tomorrow, therefore I can stay up as late as I want! Yeah! So that’s exactly what happened the previous night; and that explains why I was dog tired this morning (no pun intended). I thought that I will have to go back to bed after the walk.

As I was thinking this, we turned a corner. I noticed that Prince stopped; his hairs all standing up. All of a sudden, he was in his attack mode. I looked up to see what the matter was…. Lo and behold, on the other street is my neighbor (an older lady)with her big Boxer.

Mind you, there was a small playground / field separating us, so I thought we were ok… but nah. I tagged at Prince to urge him to move on but he didn’t want to budge. Prince has met this dog before and the Boxer was mean. My Prince is such a friendly dog, but there’s something about this Boxer that just makes my dog go nuts. Obviously, this feeling is totally reciprocated so I’ve always made it a point to avoid a confrontation.

But the Boxer saw Prince. He started barking, or snarling, I should say. The owner was oblivious to us, so she was completely caught by surprise when her dog pulled hard away from her. She tried to control her dog, but alas, the Boxer was much stronger and the leash slipped from her hands. Next thing I know, this 50-60 lbs boxer was running across the field, charging towards me and my 25 lbs Beagle-Pomeranian mix!

I was horrified, so much so that I was glued to the spot, motionless as I stood watching this dog coming at us at full speed. I thought of scooping up Prince to protect him, but the picture of Roy being attacked by his tiger flashed in my mind ... so forget that!

On impulse, I jumped in front of Prince in order to shield him, and in the hope of intimidating the other dog. But that didn't work. The Boxer continued to charge; ran me over and knocked me down...to get to my dog. I fell hard on my bottom with my legs open and my flip-flops flying all over. For interminable seconds, I forgot why I was on the ground until I heard the vicious squabble behind me. My dog!!! So I scrambled to get up, just as the Boxer’s owner came to the rescue. Thank God!!!

I grabbed Prince and held him in my arms. My poor doggie was trembling so much. He was just as shaken as his Mommy was.

I made sure that Prince was ok – which he was, thank God for that. He had bite marks, but it didn’t break his skin whatsoever. My neighbor profusely apologized, but all I could mumble was “it’s ok” even though I know deep inside that it was not!

I pulled Prince to get away from the Boxer as fast as we could. We continued our walk going home with my badly scraped elbow, sore behind, shaking legs...and bruised ego.

Needless to say, I wasn’t able to go back to bed after that. What a way to start my day.

But I learned a valuable lesson.

When dog-walking, bring a PEPPERSPRAY!

Pushing People Up

2008-07-02T12:36:00.039-04:00

I was watching Joel Osteen the other night, and he was talking about reaching our God-given potential. This is probably one of the most predominant question every believer has in his/her mind. I wish there was an instruction manual on how to get there, but unfortunately, there is none.

In God's book, reaching our potential in Him doesn't mean just simply going to school to get a degree for it. It's not that simple. In the true Kingdom of God fashion, reaching our potential involves (among others) enrolling in the school of SACRIFICE and of DYING. We need to die to our own pride to give way to humility; we have to die to our own self to be able to truly love others. There is an every-day giving up of our own desires and pleasures, so as to learn how to have compassion especially on those whom we think least deserves it.

So it was just a blessing when I received this email from a friend which I am sharing with you below. How timely is it for her to send me this, when I was just contemplating about reaching my potential...or is it God talking to me?!.... So here it is.

There are people who God brings into our lives that hold the key to our promotion. They hold the key to us reaching our full potential. But these people are not there to help us or to give us breaks or open new doors; these are people that God places in our path so we can help them, and show them favor. They are divinely connected to our destiny. We won’t go higher until we help them go higher. You have to step out and sow a seed into those people. The higher they rise, the higher you will rise.

If you will help others fulfill their dreams God will help you fulfill your dreams. Make the effort to develop a habit of “pushing people up.” When you take time to invest in someone else it doesn’t go unnoticed. Every minute you encourage that friend, every mile you go out of your way to do a good deed, every penny you spend to make someone else better, know that God sees it. He’s not only going to pay you back, He’s going to multiply what you’ve sown.

When you push people up, the blessings are going to come down! You’re going to get breaks, see His favor, and new doors are going to open to you. As you live your life as a giver, and look for ways to help others, you’re going to see your dreams and desires come to pass. God will fulfill His promises to you and you’ll live the abundant life He has prepared for you!

John 12:24 I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the
ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.

Joyful In Affliction

2008-06-10T23:48:00.054-04:00

God really speaks to us in ways that we least expect Him to. And when He does, He makes sure that it touches the core of our beings. He definitely knows how to get our attention.

I went to Baptist Hospital for my annual mammogram / sonogram check-up. I started having this routine exam since 2003. That's when I first detected a lump in my right breast. But at that time, it was not much of a big deal. True, I freaked out when I felt that undeniably marble-like firmness around the upper right quadrant of my bosom, but deep inside I found reassurance in knowing that our family had no history of breast cancer.

But that was then. And this is now. Today's picture has changed so much. Now - is after my own mother was diagnosed with cancer in 2006 and lost her battle in 2007. Now - is after my father was diagnosed with colon cancer at the very same year my mother passed away. Now - is when my other cousin (father's side) also discovered he has advanced renal cancer at 50 years old. Now - is when my uncle (mom's brother) lost his battle to prostate cancer and passed away just two nights ago. Isn't that something? I went from having no family history of cancer to having multiple kind. Like those unwanted weeds sprouting in the ground, one by one the dreaded big C surfaced from both sides of my family. It's as if cancer is trying to annihilate my clan!

Last year, I totally failed to do the annual check-up due to my family emergencies. So it's imperative that I should have it done this year, especially now that we know that I have a higher risk in developing this malignant disease. So, dutifully, I went even if part of me did not want to go through the check-up in fear of finding out something negative. But the sane part - or should I say the wise part of me - thankfully, ruled. Besides, fear is not of God and I've reminded myself time and again that because of Jesus' blood, those generational curses have no longer power over me.

Anyway, back to my appointment. Baptist Hospital was not bad this time. I didn't have to wait long before they called me in to the "inner chambers", where I had to change into a hospital gown that they provide, and then lead you into another waiting area where you wait for a few more minutes yet again for your turn. Stepping inside that waiting room reminds me of going into a (hospital) chapel. There's an air of sobriety, even sadness I would say. Maybe it's the knowledge that perhaps you're in the company of somebody whose days are numbered.

But as I went inside this time around, one lady in particular, cheerfully greeted me with, "Come, make yourself comfortable here. There's coffee and cookies and TV". I swear, if she wasn't wearing the same hospital gown as I was, I would have thought that she was a receptionist whose main job is to cheer us up. Her smile was genuine and joy just exuded from her that I was drawn to her. So I sat next to this lady. And then, I noticed that she was wearing a baseball cap, and those tell-tale little growths of hair peeking out from the hat. Right away, I knew that she has cancer and that she's been having chemotheraphy treatments.

So after the "hi and hellos" were done, I boldly asked "so what are you here for?" With a smile, she replied "an MRI, mammogram and sonogram". All I could say was "Oh.." Then as if reading my mind, she added "I found out on March that I have Lymphoma. The mass was right here (pointing to her left thigh), but it was taken out. It was huge and infact, before I came here, I was with another doctor and he just placed a drain in the wound".... So I said, "how are you holding up?" She admitted that it hasn't been easy but that she is doing well. I told her about my mother too. Strangely I felt a connection to her immediately. I think it's because in a way, I know what she is going through.

So then she continued to explain that the hospital did a PET scan on her months ago and they detected something in her breast. They think that the cancer must have metastasized but when they did a second PET scan, they couldn't find anything. So, the MRI results would be a confirmation of what's really going on inside her body. We talked a little bit more and I found out that she's a Christian. Ah... that explains her sunny disposition inspite her circumstances.

Unfortunately a hospital staff came in all too soon to summon her in for her MRI. But before she went, she said looking at me with eyes that have no trace of bitterness in them - "my spirit and my mind is ok. It's going to be a long journey for me. There are days that are challenging but in general, I am doing well in my spirit!" To which I said "I am glad. I pray that everything will be alright. God bless you!" And she said, "God bless you too!" I really wished that I spent more time with her. I would have wanted to pray for / with her, but it was not possible.

Shortly after she left, my turn came and I was ushered into one of the rooms for the mammogram. But for the rest of the day, I kept on thinking about that brief encounter. The woman was radiating with joy, her smile was like a sunshine burstring through the dark clouds. And she's not faking it, uh-oh. I could see it in her eyes; they were twinkling! When the hospital staff called her, she stood up like an eager little child. What a remarkable woman! To sum her all up... WOW!

God used this woman to remind me that I have a lot of things to be thankful for; my health, for one. Here's this woman inflicted with a serious disease, yet she found the strength to remain joyful in her affliction and patient in prayer. While here I am, feeling weak and vulnerable and overwhelmed with the curve balls that life has thrown my way. When the going gets tough, I tend to complain and doubt the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. It seems like my problems are minute compared to the hurdles this woman have to overcome. I am so ashamed. I couldn't help but repent (again!) for my lack of faith. Forgive me Jesus!

And thank you, Lord, for speaking to me through that woman. I am so blessed. I never got her name (sucks, I know), but I pray that she will have a miracle of healing so that she can continue to infect other people with her joy, quiet strength and thankful heart.

MOTHERS

2008-05-10T18:40:00.008-04:00

To all mothers who happen to read this blog, I just want to greet you a very happy mother's day. You are the silent heroes whose sacrifices are not acknowledged / recognized as often as they should be.

Mothers, without you, we will never be the same. And for that, I want to let you know, thank God for mothers like you. May the Lord's anointing, grace, wisdom and strength abound in you all the days of your lives.

Happy Mother's Day!

P.S. Special shouts-out to my friends Holly Logan, Vicky Aguirre, Sylvia Meza, Adri Brigham and mother-to-be Rachel Justiniano on this day. You are such good examples to me. God bless you guys.

He Never Lets Go

2008-04-29T10:07:00.012-04:00

My father is going to be admitted to the hospital once again starting tomorrow, April 30th.

This past couple of weeks, he has been complaining of chest pains, shortness sometimes difficulty of breathing . It has become a great effort for him just to walk from his bedroom to the dining room – and that’s just a few feet away. Yesterday while at the doctors, they did an EKG on him and found out that his heart is racing faster than normal. So the doctor suggested that it is best for him to be admitted so they can run tests on him in the hospital thoroughly. My husband and I agree that this would be the best solution.

If you recall, June last year, he was diagnosed to have a cardiovascular triple vessel disease where the 3 major arteries of his heart are clogged. This calls for a triple heart bypass but we never had this procedure done on him firstly due to his diabetes and age which would make the surgery even riskier than it already is. Secondly, we just cannot afford the Php1.5 million needed (around $37,000), just for the surgery alone (excluding the aftercare expenses). So, my father’s heart is really, really fragile – its function fully dependent on the smaller blood vessels on the lower part surrounding his heart to deliver the blood and oxygen needed for him to live.

So my friends and family, please help me pray for this recent situation that is threatening the peace of the Lord that’s guarding my heart to unravel. Please lift up my father, that he may have the grace and the faith to sustain him; for me and my husband for provision and strength in our spirit that we may hold on to the promises of God’s word.

Even though I walkthrough the valley of the shadow of death,
Your perfect love is casting out fear.
And even when I’m caughtin the middle of the storms of this life,
I won’t turn back, I know You are near

And I will fear no evil,
For my God is with me.And if my God is with me,
Whom then shall I fear?
Whom then shall I fear?

Oh no, You never let go,
Through the calm and through the storm
Oh no, You never let go,
In every high and every low
Oh no, You never let go
Lord, You never let go of me.
(Lyrics of the song “You Never Let Go Of Me” by Matt Redman)

Farewell, Jude

2008-04-14T16:40:00.023-04:00

(My cousin and his wife)

As most of you already know, yesterday early Sunday morning, I received one of the worst and saddest call that I’ve ever had in my life. My cousin Jude (based in California), a 35 year old guy, had a heart attack and died within a few minutes. In the hospital where he was taken, they discovered that he had a huge blockage in his heart of a blood clotting called embolism (which can travel to any part of your body, from your lungs to the heart or to the brain). This disease apparently, is a silent-killer.

My cousin appeared to be all normal and healthy. He was very active and wanted to do everything from mountain climbing to swimming, from biking to hiking, kayaking, scuba diving. He loved the outdoors. Not only that, he had a good sense of humor – he was always the life of a party, a one-man act. He was also a handy man, he loved to tinker, to dismantle mechanical stuff inorder to learn how to put them together. His recent feat was when he was able to put together his car's engine/motor parts just by reading and asking those who know. Most importantly, Jude had a heart to serve. He was always ready to be of helping hand, especially to the elderly. Above all, he loved his family and he loved God. He was, in every sense, a good man.

Apart from coughing last two weeks ago, which the doctor thought to be asthma, he was not complaining about anything at all. So his demise came as a huge shock to all of us, especially to his wife and 11-yr old son.

Jude was one of the closest cousins to me. I still remember our heart to heart talks and moments when he came to me for advice. I would surely miss his calls on weeknights or during weekends when he would make me laugh so much just recalling about fun and good times at CFIF where we worked together. And I do remember him also sharing with my grief, him on the phone sobbing over the loss of my mother.

His untimely death will be felt greatly, not only by his wife and son, but by his mother and siblings in the Philippines (whom some of them he was financially supporting), his relatives, as well as by those who knew him as a friend and a co-worker.

To Jude – we love you and we are greatly saddened by your sudden passing away. You will be remembered fondly and missed terribly by all those whose paths you have crossed during your short journey here on earth.

Psalms 23

2008-04-08T21:29:00.011-04:00

Lifted from Ravi Zacharias' commentary....... Thank you Yen, for this.

I think this sums up God's heart for His children.

“The Lord is my shepherd”: that’s relationship.
“I shall not want”: that’s supply.
“He makes me to lie down in green pastures”: that’s rest.
“He leads me beside still waters”: that’s refreshment.
“He restores my soul”: that’s healing.
“He guides me in the paths of righteousness”: that’s guidance.
“For his name’s sake”: that’s purpose.
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death”: that’s testing.
“I will fear no evil”: that’s protection.
“For you are with me”: that’s faithfulness.
“Your rod and your staff, they comfort me”: that’s discipline.
“You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies”: that’s hope.
“You anoint my head with oil”: that’s consecration.
“My cup overflows”: that’s abundance.
“Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life”: that’s blessing.
“And I will dwell in the house of the Lord”: that’s security.
“Forever”: that’s eternity.

Happy Birthday, Holly!

2008-04-05T00:00:00.013-04:00

Here's our e-birthday cake - Mango Cream Cake, made with lots and lots of thoughts of you.

We can't mail this , but surely we will be thinking of you in each and every yummy bite! :o)

Anyhow, have a happy South African birthday. Our prayer is for the Lord to pour forth upon you a double portion of His anointing, so that you (and Kevin) will do exploits for Him in Cape Town in a way that you have NEVER EVER thought of nor imagined! Our verse: Joshua 1:2-9!

Sending you His love and ours,
Joe and Jescel ;oD

**Please check out Spice of Life for more about this Mango Cream Cake, the recipe and how I made it.

EMERGENCY

2008-04-03T02:23:00.025-04:00

It's 3 a.m. now as I write this post. I cannot sleep yet, the adrenalin still pumping within me. I just had one of the biggest scares of my life. The girl (Marilyn) who is taking care of my father called to tell me that my Dad, who's supposedly asleep, is no longer moving.

I was speaking with Marilyn earlier tonight (at 10pm Miami time), and she told me that my Dad was still in bed sleeping. Since sleep has been elusive to him, I just told Marilyn not to wake him up anymore and just to let him rest. I did ask her, however, to make sure that my father was still breathing, to which she was positive that he is.

But by 12:00 noon Philippine time, my father still had not gotten up from bed. This is very unusual for him. And so the girls (I've 2 caregiverss taking care of my father) went inside his room to wake him up but he wasn't responding. They shook him hard. but my Dad still did not move. So Marilyn called a neighbor and my cousins who live closeby. They all came to the house and thought that my father must have had a mild heart attack while sleeping. (Philippines is not like here where you can call 911 immediately.)

Our phone rang a little after 12midnight Miami time, and it was Marilyn. Of course I freaked out when I heard what she had to tell me. I was close to getting hysterical. Memories of receiving the news about my mother's passing away came back like a rushing wave over me. Everything's still so fresh in my mind..and now my father??? "Lord, please, not yet" was the silent scream inside of me, while I broke into sobs. I don't think I can handle this, so soon after my mother's death. Joe was beside himself too, not knowing what to do. He just kept on saying to me "be strong". He himself began praying to God.

And then, Marilyn called again to say that my father is breathing afterall. His stomach is rising up and down, however, there has been no other movement from him apart from this. My father's eyes are closed, but his mouth is gaping open and a bit crooked - which caused speculation among my cousins that my dad had had a mild stroke.

After what seemed like an eternity, my cousin came back with an ambulance. He ran to the nearby hospital to call for one. So my father was rushed to the emergency. After an hour of torture of not knowing what is happening with my father, I finally got through the cellphone of my cousin who went to the hospital with him. It was found out that my Dad had hypoglycemia.

For those who are not aware - my father has not been eating well since his heel operation on October last year. And on top of that, he is also suffering from neuropathic pain - a condition whereby the damaged nerves (due to diabetes) are causing tremendous burning sensation and shooting pain in both his legs. Pain so terrible that he cannot even sleep on some nights. He has been taking pain medications since last year and it seems like those are not having an effect on him anymore.

But yesterday, the vascular surgeon my father started seeing not too long ago, gave him another pain reliever prescription, with the dosage a little higher than what he used to take. This seemed to be effective as, for the first time in 2 days, my father was was finally able to sleep. And I believe that his physical exhaustion due to sleeplessness, combined with the pain medication, knocked him out so much so that he slept longer than usual. And without food intake for about 7hrs (and he hasn't been eating well to begin with), his blood sugar level dropped down so low that his body went into a shock. He would have eventually fallen into a coma had not Marilyn caught my father's situation on time.

After an IV shot+ dextrose, my father recovered. The doctor sent him home with a strict instruction to have his blood sugar monitored several times during the day to prevent such incident from happening again. They wanted him to be admitted to the hospital but he refused.

Believe it or not, I am already packed, ready to go home. Joe was trying to book my ticket to the Philippines when we got the news that my father is, afterall, now doing OK. Infact, he is already back home and I just spoke with him. What a relief. What a night.

It's 4:00am, and now I can go to bed.

Psalms 62: 2,

He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.....Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge.

Wisdom or Foolishness? You Tell Me.

2008-03-20T12:24:00.004-04:00

I think this link has been circulating in cyberspace, but I just got this from a friend today...

This is a video of an extremely bold woman who made very controversial statements on Al Jereeza Television regarding Muslim, Christianity and Jews. This is one dangerous topic. Her name is Wafa Sultan, an Arab-American pyschologist based in Los Angeles, California.

Watch the video as soon as you can, as they say that the link might not remain active for too long. Here is the link:
http://switch3.castup.net:80/cunet/gm.asp?ai=214&ar=1050wmv&ak=

You tell me what you think about this.

Images of Spring

2008-03-19T00:31:00.048-04:00

I love Spring. It's a promise of hope, of new life, of a new beginning.

Here in South Florida, the changing of seasons is not as evident as in other parts of the US, or the world for that matter. But there is one thing that always tell me that indeed, spring has come -- my orchids.

We don't have a lot of flowering plants but we have these three little precious orchids. The purple and white were a gift from our neighbor five years ago, while the yellow one is Joe's gift, some 3 years ago.

Faithfully each year, they bloom and yield these beautiful, happy flowers. They may look like nothing for the rest of the year, but they never fail to come "alive" every springtime. (This year though, the flowers remind me of my late mother. She loved her orchids, and has a gardenfull of it back home in the Philippines.)

These flowers amaze me. Their faithfulness remind me of our Father God who never fails and whose provision is never too early, nor too late but is always on time.

Thank you, Lord, for these little flowers. Everything we see around us is a thumbprint of Your creation, an evidence of Your goodness!

Let everything that has breath, praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.
(Psalm 150:6)

Logans Update

2008-03-15T13:19:00.010-04:00

I just wanted to share with you the news that the Logans have arrived safely in Capetown, S. Africa this morning (Miami time). Holly's Mom just called me, and she spoke with Holly on the phone just a few minutes before.

Their flight went well. The girls were good, thank God, as we all know Kevin and Holly were worried about their daughters for the most part. They're now trying to settle in, have bought a few groceries, but time is catching up with them and they're getting tired. (S. Africa is 6 hrs ahead of Miami)

Holly doesn't know how soon DSL can be installed in their house, but in the meantime, she'll try to find an internet cafe so she can send us their update. But for now, I'll try to pass on to you whatever news I hear about them.

So Long, Friends

2008-03-14T13:50:00.018-04:00

Music: Leaving On A Jetplane by John Denver

“Don't follow where the path may lead; but go where there is no path and leave a trail”-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Yesterday marked another milestone in Kevin, Holly, Emily and Katie’s lives – the day they left for their missions trip to South Africa.

Joe and I saw the family off at the airport. Earlier in the afternoon, we went to Holly's parents' house in Homestead. No matter how well-planned a trip may be, those last few minutes before leaving for the airport are the most frantic ones. I know, I'm speaking from experience. You know, those last moments where you try to do so many things at the same time.

And that's how we found the Logans, especially Holly, who in her frenzy, was forgetting where she set some things that she just hand in her hands a few minutes ago. But amidst all these, she still managed to blog! Isn't that amazing or what? LOL..

In the meantime, Joe and Wayne (Holly's Dad) were trying to help Kevin figure out how to tie Katie's carseat onto his backpack. They are hand-carrying the carseat with them. Since they paid for Katie's seat, she would need it in the plane. Kevin wanted to attach the carseat to his back pack, to leave his arms free to carry one of the girls - just in case they start freaking out, especially during their stopover in Heathrow. After a little strugle, the guys figured it out, but the process was hilarious!
Back inside the house, Billie (Holly's Mom) was already starting to break into tears, as was Holly. I had to get away from them, for I vowed to myself not to cry.. but let's see what happens later.

Finally, off we went to the airport. Kevin had to ride with us while Holly and the kids were in her parents' car. At the airport, Holly's parents dropped them off, but not before they said their goodbyes. Holly's Mom tearfully embraced each one of them. Holly's Dad did the same, but he told his daughter -"I am very proud of you. I will pray for you everyday." I thought that was a touching moment; tears began to well up my eyes.

Without wasting any time, the Logans proceeded to the queue for check-in, while I stood as their property custodian. I watched their luggage. Except for a minor incident which was remedied immediately, everything was uneventful. (the porter deposited their luggage at the wrong spot. A few minutes later an airport male staff came and told me sternly that the luggage shouldn't be where they were. The porter came back and moved the luggage, actually to a much better location) After about 30 minutes of waiting, the family was checked-in without a problem.

Finally, the dreaded time came - us letting go of our dearest and closest friends to fulfill what God has called them to do. All my life, I've always been the one going off and leaving my family and friends behind. But this time, I'm on the other side of the fence; I'm the one left behind.

At that moment, I didn't know what to do. Actually, both Joe and I were at a loss for words too. And as if they have a mind of their own, my tears came rolling down my cheeks (and they still do as I am writing this post). I noticed Joe became misty-eyed as well when he was embracing the Logans. Our intention was to pray for and with them before they left for their gate, but alas, our emotions took over and we weren't able to do it. (We prayed for them later though). It was hard watching them go.

To the Logans - "Auf wiedersehen", or in literal translation "'til we see each other again". This German word is an expression of goodbye that is full of optimism for a next meeting. And that's how we remain - anticipating the next time we will see you.

God bless you. We love you. We look forward to your good reports from South Africa.... and maybe, you'll also hear from us about the tales of "Our Life Without The Logans!".

You Want-Tons?

2008-03-13T01:55:00.009-04:00

I have yet to meet a person who doesn't like Nutella And if I do, I would certainly tell that person that he/she is not normal! What's not to love about it? This gooey, rich hazelnut chocolate spread is just addicting.

But Nutella is more than just a spread for bread (hmmnn, good title). I've learned that you can use it in various ways for desserts. Such as this one I'm sharing with you today.

Read more of this entry here-->

Shotgun Prayers

2008-03-13T00:55:00.009-04:00

Lately I’ve been finding myself having quality time with God when I drive. It is embarrassing to admit, but it is when I am driving that I get my quiet, alone time with Him. Ironically, I am able to focus on the Lord very well despite the craziness of the traffic in Miami.

Within the four walls of my car I've poured out my heart and soul to the Lord. The car is privy to all these wonderful, sometimes desperate times with Him. If only she can talk, I am sure that she would be able to tell you about my most fervent prayers, my secret longings and deepest sighs.

But there are also those times that I find myself just throwing out one-line-prayers for someone, or for something. Like when an ambulance passes me by, I’d quickly say a prayer for the person in the rescue vehicle. Or, anytime when I see something in the street that moves me, I throw those one-liners out to God. Usually, these prayers are more like, “Bless that person Lord!”,“Help him/her live that she may know you!” Or, “Save Him Jesus!.” (Yes, I do pray for those annoying drivers sometimes ..LOL) It's nothing elaborate; just a simple, heart-felt, quick intercession.

A dear youth pastor of mine called these kind of quick one-liners – the shotgun prayers. Shotgun prayers, short as they may be, I believe are as effective as those long moments of intercession. Afterall, it is not by our beautiful words that God is moved but by the intention of our hearts.

How many times have you find yourself just suddenly thinking about someone, or something when you’re driving? Or how many times have you seen something on the road that really moved you? How have you responded? You see, I believe that some of these times maybe because the Holy Spirit is quickening our inner man to intercede at that particular moment. Our problem is that sometimes we analyze too much, or that we are too busy about the cares of this world to even notice, thereby missing those moments when the Holy Spirit speaks.

Galatians 5:16 says “live by the Spirit....” . If I may translate this verse, my version would be “practice His presence”. We need to be conscious of the Lord’s presence at all times, so that not only will we “not gratify our sinful natures”, but also, that we may remain sensitive to the guidance and leading of the Holy Spirit, therefore enabling us to be of use to Him anytime He wants us.

So, have you heard God lately?

The Last Supper

2008-03-11T13:35:00.011-04:00

Just a few days before they leave for their 3-year missions trip to South Africa, we had the pleasure of having our dearest friends, the Logans – Kevin, Holly, Emily & Katie – join us for dinner at our home last Saturday. As in the past times, it was a joy to have them, but this particular Saturday was somewhat a bittersweet time, at least for me, knowing that we’re going to be missing these people who we’ve come to consider not just as friends, but as family.

Read more of this entry here ---→

Bummed

2008-03-01T23:57:00.020-05:00

No matter how careful we are sometimes, things still go wrong.

Well, I had another little car mishap today - I managed to scratch our car again. I was out earlier this afternoon in one of the shopping areas in Kendall Drive. Whenever I can, I always back into a parking space. After having had an accident when backing out of a parking space years ago, since then I've decided to back into a parking space whenever I can, at least. Unfortunately today, I never noticed a very slender palm tree behind me. It was completely hidden in my blind spot! How could I miss it, you'd wonder? Yeah, I know, I have agonized over this question myself.

If you recall a few months ago, I also scratched the car pretty badly (in the front bumper, right side), but I had no idea that I did. (Read story here) This time around, I totally knew. I actually felt the rear right side of my car (just below the tail light) deflect due to the pressure of the palm tree against the car's surface! Thank God I didn't break the light, and that I was going slow otherwise, the car could have had more damage.

It wasn't a nice feeling waiting for my husband to come home from work, and him finding out what I did. It's isn't always nice to be the bearer of bad news, especially when it's all your fault. Thankfully, Joe is, as always, the understanding husband. Of course it is frustrating for him, but as he puts it, "thank God nothing worse happened to me or to the car".

And he's right. It is just a matter of perspective. Life is always a choice. You either choose to look at the glass half-full or half-empty. If only we learn to always look at a situation with a positive attitude, things actually aren't always as bad as they seem to be.

So yes, thank God that it's only a scratch.

American Idol Homey

2008-02-21T00:34:00.013-05:00

I just wanted to give a shout-out to Ramielle Malubay, the Filipina contestant who made it to top 24 (so far) on American Idol season 7. She did well tonight and I'm bursting with pride... I do hope she goes all the way!

Represent, sistah! I'm rooting for you! ...........Iwagayway ang bandilang Pilipino!

Breast Health

2008-02-20T00:40:00.008-05:00

First of all, many thanks to my friend Conni for the information below. This is very important not just to me but to all the women out there.

Are you doing a self-breast exam monthly, and seeing your OBGYN for a check-up yearly? After age 40 you should start getting screened for a mammogram and if you have a history of breast cancer (or any type of cancer for that matter), should be earlier than 40.

Every time a woman gets her period, there are hormonal changes that occur in our body, our breasts swell up and when we don't get pregnant, of course the body's immune system does this wonderful thing of getting rid of that dead tissue in our breasts . But when our body doesn't all get rid of it due to some factors like diet (caffeine, bad fats, etc), stress (that's why we must exercise), then we get these calcified or dead tissues and some might form into lumps or cysts.

A friend of Conni's shared with her an interesting story about her friend's sister, who after years of getting breast biopsies, finally got tired and looked around for any answer--came across SELF BREAST MASSAGES. Every night, she would take warm sesame oil and massage each breasts in a gentle but firm circular motion (preferably clockwise), then outward motion starting from the center--then like the spokes of the wheel. You can use two fingers, and then the palm of your hand. Other studies say that you can do the massages even without the oil, the point here is to encourage blood flow in and out of your lymph nodes. (This is especially important after wearing a bra all day). Anyway, after she started doing this regularly, on her next breast biopsy--the surgeon had to cancel the whole surgery because the breast was clear!

There are several book written about self breast massage for women. I don't know why I've never come across this before. But sometimes, God uses our own predicament to make us hunger for knowledge/wisdom and the find the answer. Isn't that true most of the time?

Well, hope this information helps me and you.

P.S. Here are some recommended supplement items that doctors say help
turmeric & coq10 (known to reduce cysts in lab studies)
flaxseed oil, evening primrose oil

A Heart Thing

2008-02-14T12:14:00.008-05:00

It has been a while since I gave you an update about my father. So on this day of HEARTS, I felt that it is just but fitting for me to share with you the greatest burden that I have in my heart – my father.

My father has just gone to another doctor, a Vascular specialist.

It's been four months (Oct 2007) since his heel/ankle operation (debridement) and still, the wounds on both his feet have not healed at all. He still has the incessant, throbbing pain from his wound, and it has now affected his entire leg. My father has been taking pain medications (along with his other medicines) since the operation, and they are no longer working on him. Night time for my father has become an ordeal to go through. The pain is so bad that he cannot sleep a wink anymore.

It seemed that the Orthopedic doctor whom he was seeing was not doing the right thing as there barely is an improvement on his wound and pain. And so, a friend (a nurse, actually) suggested for him to consult this vascular surgeon whom she knows is very good. This doctor supposedly has handled worse diabetic cases than my father and had been able to successfully help his patients till they got better.

And so my father went to see this doctor today. A vascular specialist, I had been told, would be the best for his case. The doctor reviewed all his medications and gave him new stuff to apply to his wound.

I hope and pray this new doctor would be able to help my father. Due to the pain, my father sometimes gets so tired, frustrated, depressed and all that not-so-good stuff. Just this morning, I was on the phone with him because he is not feeling all too well. I think his trip from the doctor stressed him out. He is feeling a slight pain on his chest and shoulders. And you know how delicate his condition is due to his coronary triple vessel disease. There is a district hospital nearby and he went to the Emergency to have his blood pressure taken. His pressure is high - 120/100.

I fear for my father’s life, to be honest. I must confess that it stresses me out thinking of him and it affects me a whole lot. His condition to me feels like an ax hanging over my head that can fall anytime.

So, this post comes with a request for a prayer. Please help me pray for my father, and for Joseph and I as well. Pray for a miracle of healing, for provision, strength and peace for all of us.

I lift up my eyes to the hills—

where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,

the Maker of heaven and earth.
Psamls 121:1-2

Happy Valentines.

Food Blog

2008-02-11T14:42:00.000-05:00

Two posts ago I told you that I like to cook. And then my post before this is about a dinner that I prepared at home. Need I say more?

Lately, I’ve been checking out different food blogs, many are that of professional chefies and others are amateur cooks like myself. This gave me an inspiration. Since we cook a lot at home, why not start my own food blog? So, I thought that I should document my, or rather our – my hubby and I’s - own culinary adventures at home.

A friend of mine blogged about brain plasticity (or neuroplasticity -the lifelong ability of the brain to reorganize neural pathways based on new experiences) and that one of the ways to keep your mind rejuvinated or sharp is to take up a new hobby or interest. (Note: people who don't learn new things make their brain rigid). So this is my way of stimulating my own brain. By blogging about the food that I cook, I will have to challenge myself to be more creative while continuing to learn each time about something that I truly enjoy doing.

So, if you have time, do drop by my food blog at http://spice-o-life.blogspot.com/ . Comments except those that are cruel and are uncalled-for are welcome. Oh, you know what I mean.

Hope to see you there and I bid you…good eats! :o)

Mediterranean Palate

2008-02-05T21:50:00.000-05:00

I've been planning to try this recipe from Rachel Ray which is a knock-off of the Morrocan chicken tagine. I bought the dry ingredients last week but never had the time to cook. As you can see, tonight's the night. I did it!

You might not like this dish if you've not tried Middle-eastern, Mediterranean or Arabic food before. This dish has so many contrasting flavors going on such as the sweetness from the dried fruit, the tanginess from the olives, the spices from cumin, ground coriander, cinnamon and smoked paprika. Your first bite might seem strange but as the flavors marry in your mouth, the food actually tastes better.

I served the dish on a bed of couscous (ground semolina pasta, a staple of North African /Middle Eastern countries) as the recipe suggested.

If you want to try this recipe, check this link -- middle eastern chicken. The only change I made is adding a pinch of red pepper flakes for a little kick. I used apricots for the dried fruit because I wanted a mild flavor. But I think that dates would have added a much better flavor. Or maybe, a mix of both dates and apricots would be a nice balance.

Date Night

2008-01-29T23:52:00.000-05:00

Take-out, deliveries or eating out is a far and apart occasion for my husband and I. Reason being, we love to cook. We prefer to cook, not only because it's money-saving, but most importantly, it's healthier. When we cook, we control the ingredients that we put into our food, as opposed to ordering take-outs or eating in restaurants where you really do not know the quality of ingredients they use in your food.

But this is not to say that we do not enjoy eating out every once in a while. Like tonight for instance. My husband took me to Christy's for a nice little dinner date.

Since it is my first time in this restaurant, allow me to write my own review of the place basing on our experience.

Christy's is a 4-star restaurant that has a warm, cozy ambience conducive to dates and power meetings. It's a little pricey, but its reputation preceeds the place. I've heard of a lot of good things about this formal dining place so I had high expectations in going there.

And disappointed I was not. The service was excellent. And the food.... The appetizer crabcake which Joe chose was out of this world! It was sooo delicious, I cleaned up that plate. I ate every morsel there was, I didn't care if the place was fufu! LOL!

I could have had the crabcakes for dinner, but when you're in Christy's, you're supposed to have a steak. It's a steakhouse, afterall...

So both Joe and I ordered 12 oz. Filet Mignons. While waiting for our entree, we had the caesar salad that comes with it. It was good. My husband likes the Outback's better, but I liked it. Lots of Parmiggiano Reggiano in it, and anchovies in the sauce....hmmnnn...what's not to like about it?

Then comes the star of the night, our main course. Imagine this - when Joe and I tried the steak, both of us exclaimed "WOW!" at the same time! That's how good it was! The meat was buttery, so tender it doesn't need a knife. It was cooked to perfection according to our preference. No doubt, it was the best I've ever had!

Of course, we cannot end dinner without something sweet. I wanted to order the Baked Alaska as it was something everyone recommeded, but the serving was too much for 2 people. So our 2nd choice was the Blackout chocolate cake. The cake was gooey, very moist - decadent but not too sweet. Just perfect.

In a nutshell, we had a good dining experience tonight. The only downside was that their bread was a little too, too crusty for us. And of course, the price.... whew! Thank God we had a gift card so we didn't spend too much out of our pocket.

I would definitely recommend Christy's to everyone who has not gone there (if you're in Miami) or if you're visiting Miami - if you don't mind paying a little bit extra for good food, that is.

To my husband -- thank you for a romantic and a yummy dining experience.

Oh, Well..

2008-01-28T01:24:00.001-05:00

Thanks to Holly & Vicky for this. Here is my result. When I was younger, I did want to become a CNN correspondent........

You Should Be an Artist

You are incredibly creative, spontaneous, and unique.
No one can guess what you're going to do next, but it's usually something amazing.
You can't deal with routine, rules, or structure. You're easily bored.
As long as you are able to innovate and break the rules, you are extremely successful.

You do best when you:

- Can work by yourself
- Can express your personality in your work

You would also be a good journalist or actor.

What Should You Be When You Grow Up?

"Pollock-cized"

2008-01-25T16:45:00.000-05:00

Ok.. I can't resist it.. If you can't beat Heredes, then join him.. HAHHAHAHA.... You are such a trendsetter, Heredes.... hat's off to ya!

Anyways, here's my version... I call my masterpiece, The Poodle and the Pigeon.....

I had fun doing it... You are right Holly, it's very therapeutic. Try it. Click here...

See No Evil

2008-01-22T12:51:00.001-05:00

You watch it on the news. You read it on the papers. You hear it over the radio. But you never imagine that it will happen to you.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, I’ve just been flashed! Yes, some pervert walked towards my direction and showed me his full package! I’ve never been so disgusted and horrified all at the same time in my life – and all I could say was “in Jesus name!.”

It all happened yesterday afternoon at Publix’ parking lot (this is a supermarket, for those not from Miami). I was busy unloading the grocery on to the back of my SUV, but I noticed that there was this big white pick-up truck (either an F150 or a Tundra) that was approaching slowly. I thought that the driver was waiting for me to pull out so he can have my parking space. I never looked up to see, I just continued unloading the bags until I got done. Meantime, I noticed that the white truck chose to park to my left side, a car away from me. As I was fully backed out of my parking space ready to drive away, the driver of the white truck got out and came towards the back of his vehicle so that he would now be fully facing me. That was when I saw his entire manhood out in the open! Oh my God! (and this is an authentic cry unto the Lord, not an expletive)

I hurriedly drove away, but I turned around one more time to look at the man to check if maybe he'd run after me or what... but this time, he had his shirt over his manhood and he was walking back towards the driver’s seat. I also realized that there was nobody else in the parking lot but me and him!

Mind you, this happened shortly before 6:00 pm, so it was still in broad daylight. (For those of you in Miami, the Publix I’m talking about is in Crossings (corner 134 Ave & 112 St). I thought that maybe, the man just forgot to zip his fly?

I would never know the answer, not that I want to. Bottom line is, he exposed himself in public. I was so scared that I neglected to do one thing -- call the police. Yeah, I should have done it, but at that time, all I wanted to do was to get away.

I did another thing though. I prayed. After my initial reaction of horror and disgust, I felt compassion overtake my heart. What happened to him that he's become that perverted individual, I wondered? But God knows, so I lifted that man up to Him. I prayed for his salvation, that he would get to know Jesus as His Lord and Savior. And I prayed that the truth in Jesus would set that man free from his sexual perversion. In Jesus' name.

Good News, At Last

2008-01-16T13:28:00.000-05:00

It is with great joy that I share with you the latest news about my father.

He had his lab tests done the other day. According to his doctor (an Internist), the results came out very good - meaning, his blood sugar, creatinine, cholesterol levels, etc., are all low. These levels apparently are low enough that the doctor decided to reduce the intake and discontinue some of the medications my father has been maintaining since months ago. Also, my father has gained a bit of weight, from 56 kilos last November, to 59.5 kilos as of yesterday. Praise the Lord!

These news are like music to my ears. We've not had a positive development in a while as far as my father’s health is concerned. That’s why I am very thankful to God, for this could only be because of His healing touch upon my father’s life.

I do hope and pray that good news will keep on coming until my father's full recovery. According to my earthly, limited mind - he still has a long way to go. The wounds from the surgery on his heels have not quite healed yet. It will take months for those to heal given his diabetic condition. On top of this, my dad has a peripheral artery disease (a condition developed mostly by diabetics) that causes painful burning sensations on his legs contributing to his sleepless nights at times.

But these conditions are nothing that our God cannot handle. He is a miracle working Father and I know that what our carnal mind may think impossible, with God it is possible.

So, please do help me pray for my father's continuous recovery. Pray specifically that:

my father will have a miraculous healing from the conditions I’ve mentioned above, and that he’ll soon become well enough to travel

his application for a passport and US visa will be approved without hindrance or delay from the enemy so that I can have him here in the US with me in no time

we will have enough finances to be able to get my father to the US

Thank you very much for praying and believing with me for my family. The Lord's promises are YES and AMEN to those who believe in Him!

Prayer At Work

2008-01-11T12:44:00.000-05:00

Since the late part of December 2007, a few of my work colleagues and I have started to come together for a morning prayer in our office.

The construction industry has suffered a great set back lately with the slowing down of the real estate industry, and our company, being in the windows and doors business, is of course affected by it to some degree. We have seen many changes occur within the company in the last few months and I would be a hypocrite to say that I've not been affected. Seeing those changes take place have have created a feeling of uncertainty and insecurity inside of me. And I am pretty sure that my colleagues feel the same way too. So, this morning prayer happened just at the right time – a proper response, I would say, to a situation that is beyond any of our control.

Needless to say, these prayer sessions are focused on the company we work for – for its management, business deals and decisions, its workers and for whatever special prayer concerns and requests that are brought up that day from any one of our colleagues. We pray for 5-10 minutes only as we do not want to encroach on company time too much. But though the prayers said are short and concise, I know that God honors them. And I believe by faith that He will use these prayer times to work His way into the hearts of our colleagues who do not know Him, or those whose love for Him have grown cold.

The great thing is that the Lord is stirring my spirit! Every morning, I now find myself looking forward to these prayers sessions, to the chance of being able to relate with my office mates on a different level. I just believe that God is doing new and mighty things in our midst.

It is such a blessing to be able to pray with my co-workers especially because religious activities of any kind in most work places here in the U.S. are a taboo. I thank God that I am working in a company whose owners are godly, Christian men. And I pray that indeed, this company will remain to be one that lifts up the banner of Jesus for the glory and honor of the Father, our God.

The Way To Peace Is War

2008-01-07T13:30:00.001-05:00

No, I’m not referring to the Iraqi war or some bloody revolution. Rather, I’m referring to another type of war that is done on a whole different level -- it is a revolution, alright and violent at that!

What I am talking about is the revolution that takes place in the spirit when we are waging war on our knees !
Here's something that a friend of mine (Salome) shared and I would like to pass this on to you. This is one of those paradoxical principles in the kingdom – “that to attain true peace we must war for the truth”.

To understand what I am talking about, read the article below. I pray that as we learn to go to “war”, the REST and the PEACE of God will reign in our lives this 2008 no matter what adverse circumstances we may find ourselves in.

God bless you.

==============================================================

How do you find rest in the midst of war? Well, we all know that the prophets have prophesied that this is a time of war in the heavenlies and those who contend will win.

But the hardest thing to do is to find rest in your soul though you are participating in this end time war for God's kingdom to be established in our lives, our homes, our communities, our nations and the world.

In scripture, we find several passages which give us an inkling how we can remain in 'peace' soulfully while the battle rages.

Isaiah 30:15 says: 'in repentance and rest you will be saved. In quietness and trust is your strength.'

Personally, when I feel GOD tugging at my soul and giving me unrest, I usually do some reality check to find out if I've done something that did not please him. Until I find out why it is, there is no rest for my soul.... it may take days or weeks or even months, until I truly spend time pressing in to God to tell me what is the root of my unrest. A thought just flashed right now: what if the reason for the unrest is that God is not comfortable anymore living inside me because something unholy or ungodly came inside the temple? Hmmm, worth thinking about, don't you think? And so, He nudges and pokes gently at first and then it intensifies, so that He can enjoy living in me and enjoy me.

I have found out that when we don't deal with our ways and our thoughts and our motives daily, unrest in body, soul and spirit occurs. In Jer. 6:16 it says: Stand by the ways and see and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is and walk in it. And you will find rest for your souls.

Our souls need to rest folks. That way we won't become stressed and frustrated and angry.That's why the way to rest is to war. War for a breakthrough in knowing what is really pressing your soul into unrest. We need to war for God's voice to be clear so that we can do what He wants us to do. We need to war so that when we find the answer we can breakthrough to peace.

Isn't that amazing? To attain true peace we must war for the truth... and that is why I soak in the Holy Ghost as much as I can. Because in the place of His Presence we see things as we ought.

When the Holy Spirit begins to move in me, there is like a spotlight that he turns on inside of me to show me what is really going on. Once I deal with an issue, or a prayer that needs to be uttered, or a deed that i have to do immediately, or whatever; Once I obey what He tells me to do, peace comes like a flood. Instantly the tension is removed and rest comes.

So, I pray for you my friends that this year you will contend for that peace by warring for truth to be manifested whenever unrest comes into your souls. Let the tide of the Spirit wash away all our unrest this year... Peace.

Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Simply Delicioso

2008-01-05T23:17:00.000-05:00

Earlier tonight my hubby displayed his culinary skills by whipping up a super-dooper, wonderful meal. Our friends, the Logans and Aguirres minus Vicky (she was in the hospital with her grandfather) came to our house and joined us for that scrumptious restaurant style but home-made goodness dinner.

Joe made a creamy onion soup for starters, grilled a skirt steak rubbed with southwestern seasoning as the entree, and not to be outdone was the cheesy twice-baked potato side dish. Yum'oh!

To finish it all off, dessert was the outrageously chocolatey brownies baked by moi -- you can't have too much chocolate! Perfect with a hot cup of coffee! (Recipe from Barefoot Contessa, for all you Foodnetwork fans out there!)

It was a nice time with friends - a little crazy with all the kids running around and our dog Prince barking so much... but it was a "homey" kind of crazines. And hey, we gotta get used to this craziness if we're going to have children of our own, right?

To the Logans and Aguirres, it is always a joy to have you. Looking forward to next time!

PS: Joe says: We would like to thank everyone that moaned, squealed, and went "mmm--mmm--good" during dinner. Please note: We are NOT responsible for any other noises made after dinner....LOL. Get ready, I'm already working on next weeks menu!

My Very Firsts

2007-12-30T16:06:00.000-05:00

It's a bit late but I just have to post this. There is always a first time in everything, and I believe, we never forget those "firsts" in our lives.

So here are a couple of things that I've done during the last few weeks for the very first time.

Dec. 24th -- The Aguirres invited us to their family gathering on Christmas Eve. So I got to join the kids in decorating gingerbread men and sugar cookies. This was my very first time to decorate a gingerbread man cookie!

In the Philippines, not a lot of families bake. In fact, most average families I know do not even own an oven. That's why I've never done this before. It was a lot of fun. I was like a kid again.

Thanks to the Aguirres / Brighams. See more Vicky's blog on this.

Dec. 30th - We had an excursion with the Logans to the famed Clot Family Christmas display in Pinecrest. I have heard about this for several years now but never got to see the display until tonight. It was like an amusement park for kids. Awesome. It's touted to be the largest privately-owned holiday display in the nation, if not the world - with over 700,00 lights, 100 animated figures and 2,000 train tracks. As Holly said in her blog, it's worth the drive. January 1st is the last chance for you to see it. If you can't make it, make sure to go next year.

A Recap of 2007

2007-12-29T00:02:00.000-05:00

Year 2007 is soon to be officially over in a couple of days. As I bid adieu to this year, I know that 2007 will definitely leave an indelible mark in my spirit. This year I have battled and fought, overcome and conquered the many obstacles that life brought my way.

It all began in October 2006 when my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer, an invasive ductal carcinoma stage 4 which at that time had already metastasized to her bones, lymph nodes and skin. But even this horrible news did little, if anything, to put me down. I knew there would be an uphill battle ahead of me, but I prepared myself. I put on God's full armor and held on to God's promises in His word as tight as I could.

So as the year 2007 came rolling in, I was ready. My heart was expectant of the Lord's miracles to take place in my life and in my family. I even went as far as boldly declaring 2007, being a year ending with the perfect number 7, as the year of PERFECTION - a year when everything in my life would fall into its proper place according to His plans for me. Yeah, just like that. Never did I think that things would get as difficult as they did.

As always, God's ways are higher than ours. I forgot that in order to achieve perfection, there has to be a process of "perfecting". And I thought that my 18 years of being a Christian was all the perfecting I needed. I was totally wrong. Just as gold has to be refined through fire, and just as a diamond has to be crushed, milled, agitated, and subjected to countless abrasives and cutting before it can become that priceless, beautiful gem stone - similarly the Lord brought me through intense adversities in my life.

Thus, the Lord's perfecting process began.... The bad news came one after the other, it seemed.

My mother had mastectomy on March and shortly thereafter, began her radiation treatments. Then one day in April when they were at the doctors for her treatment, some theives broke into their home and stole all the precious antique jewelries that they have. Some of them were from my mother's teenage years and some even from my Grandmother. There were not a lot of pieces, but it was the world to them. It was all they had. This was a shattering news.

And then on June even before my mother's radiation treatment was over, my father had a medical emergency of his own. We found out, he has colon cancer. And as if this was not devastating enough, doctors further found out that my dad has a coronary triple vessel disease, a condition that is so delicate that it can cause him to have a cardiac arrest any minute, any day.

It was just the middle of the year, but by this time, I felt like I was drowning in the ocean of helplessness. The strength I had in my spirt at the beginning of this year was slowly ebbing away. In my natural eyes, I saw a situation that was hopeless. Both of my parents have cancer. My mother's was a terminal case and my father's life was tethered between life and death. And with all the medical bills for my parents piling up and the several trips I had from US to the Philippines and back, our finances were dwindling as fast as the blinking of my eye.

Then while my father was still at the hospital, an ultra-sound of my mother's revealed another malignant growth in her other breast that was not detected earlier. In the meantime, her skin ulcers were spreading so much and so fast througout her upper body, contributing to her increasing discomfort. This was on July.

Through it all, I stood my ground and continued fighting the good fight of faith. But there were times that I felt it was all too much and I allowed myself to question and to doubt. Especially when my mother's situation took a worse turn.

On August, my mother had another hormone treatment and another round of chemo, but nothing worked. She had grown tired and weary from all the medical interventions that seemed useless, and so she began refusing treatment - adamantly so - until the early morning of September 20th when her body finally gave out and she went home to be with the Lord. My mother's death was a major blow. It was the hardest to take and it challenged my faith, but yet God's peace held me.

Then I thought that after my mother's death, we would be able to take a breather. Wrong again. In October, only a couple of weeks after my mother's funeral, my father had to be hospitalized once more as he needed surgery on his heels. His wounds developed an infection and became gangrenous and he was at the brink of needing leg amputation. Between him mourning the loss of my mother and his hospital confinement for a week and the succeeding physical pain he had to endure due to the operation, my father became depressed to the point of insomnia, loss of appetite and of course, loss of weight.

And then just last month (November), I received a news that the girl taking care of my father had to go home, because her very own mother was fighting for her life. That means my father would have to be left alone to fend for himself, which at this point is not possible at all. My father needs assistance on a lot of accounts and definitely cannot be by himself.

Whew! To others, it may seem like we had NOTHING but tumultuous events this year. But I can tell you that in the midst of despair God was working His miracles in and around us. For one, my parents came to know the Lord. Both of them accepted Jesus as their Lord and Saviour. I've prayed for them for years and years and if only for their salvation, it was worth going thru all those hardships. Second, my father survived his colon surgery when he had little to no chance of doing so. This alone is a miracle on its own. Third, God's financial provision flowed through friends and family and favors kept pouring in. One of them was when my boss kept my position in the company despite having been away from work for a total of 5 months this year. Fourth, I felt God's incredible love and comfort through my spiritual family and in times when I was weak, it was the prayers of the saints that kept me. I got to know who really are those friends that care and am grateful for them who have gone out of their way to be there for me and our family. Fifth, I have grown to love my husband even more, if at all possible, and I believe the testings have served to strengthen our relationship some more. Sixth, I am still standing strong in the Lord Jesus. I have proven to myself that indeed His strength more than matches all my troubles. I now have a deeper knowledge, and in a more intimate way, of who God is to me as MY Father, MY comforter, MY stronghold, MY peace, MY comforter, MY joy, MY strength, MY Saviour -- MY ALL IN ALL.

So to wrap up-- Year 2007 was the dawn of inward perfection. I am definetely not the same person as I was a year ago. He has taught me how to abandon myself in Him, and had given me more compassion than I ever had towards those who are going through health challenges. God is not finished yet, but I know that He is breeding greatness within me out of the worst situations that I've never imagined I'd go through. He is pushing me toward my destiny. And the Lord knows exactly the pressure I need to get me to the place where He wants me to be. He knows the kind of pressure that will take for me to birth what He has in store for me in the future. I don't know what weight of glory that I carry within that God should process me this intensely. I just believe that it must be something HUGE.

As we leave 2007 behind, I'd like to take this opportunity to thank you again, my friends and family, for being there for us all through out our ordeal. Thank you for making us a part of your lives. And as we meet 2008, I pray that you and I will have bigger blessings and countless breakthroughs in the next 365 days.

Happy Jesus-blessed New Year everyone!

1 Cor 13

2007-12-26T10:28:00.002-05:00

I found this Christmas Version of 1 Cor 13... it's interesting. The kind of reminder we all need for this season....

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows, strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls, but do not show love to my family, I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen, baking dozens of Christmas cookies, preparing gourmet meals and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime, but do not share the true meaning of Christmas, I'm just another cook.

If I work at the soup kitchen, carol in the nursing home and give all that I have to charity, but do not demonstrate kindness to strangers, it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels and snowflakes, attend a myriad of holiday parties and sing in the choir but do not focus on Christ, I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child. Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the husband. Love is kind, though harried and tired.

Love doesn't envy another's home that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens. Love doesn't yell at the kids to get out of the way, but is thankful they are there to be in the way.

Love doesn't give only to those who are able to give in return but rejoices in giving to those who can't. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never fails.

Video games will break, pearl necklaces will be lost, golf clubs will rust, but giving the gift of love will endure.

- Author Unknown

“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

(1 Corinthians 13:13)

Poem For My Mother

2007-12-20T16:35:00.001-05:00

Today was particularly a day of missing my mother. I don’t know why. I just happened to look at a picture taken during the last time I was with her months ago (in the airport) and my heart began to ache. I miss her everyday. I’m never much of a writer, but here's the little poem I wrote just to express what I felt today. Here you go.........

Merry Christmas, Mama

You left us not too long ago
All too soon, I never expected it so.
Your body has suffered,
So much pain you have had endured.

But despite all that you were going through,
My father and I, you continued to place before you.
You fought the illness, displayed inner strength
In Christ you held on, you never lost faith.

Meeting the Lord, you were much prepared.
This I am certain, and I am very blessed.
There’s nowhere better than

where you are now
With Jesus in heaven,

to whom you bow.

To you, I never got to say goodbye.
Thinking about this still bring tears to my eye.
I was not beside you when your last moment came
If I can rewind time, things will not be the same.

I miss you so much Mama.
But missing you more is Papa.
And though physically you are absent from us,
I believe from up above you are looking down upon us.

During this Blessed Season, I just want to tell you
That my father and I love you so
memories of you thrive in our hearts,
And for as long as we live,
as the Lord permits
thoughts of you, from us, will never depart.

Merry Christmas to you, Mama.
From Joe, Me and Papa.

Christmas All Over The World?

2007-12-18T12:41:00.000-05:00

Ever wonder what is happening to the rest of the world during this holiday season? Well, I just began to think about this after reading what happened in China last week.

According to AsiaNews, police in the eastern Chinese province of Shandong have violently arrested 270 pastors from house Churches for taking part in an “illegal religious gathering” (for a bible meeting) in the district of Hedeng near the city of Linyi. An eyewitness reported that the raid was quick and brutal. Allegedly, 50 policemen "stormed the meeting place, blindfolded and handcuffed them two-by-two," then hauled them off to headquarters for "questioning." While 120 were fined with "an interrogation tax" and released, dozens of others await their fate under a regime with a history of vicious religious persecution and zero tolerance for the underground church movement. This underground church movement is now estimated to have over 10 million members.

This recent incident is clear evidence that China is not ready to move toward a culture of religious tolerance, as opposed to the positive image that they’ve been promoting lately, as part of a preparation of them hosting the 2008 Olympic Games. As FRC (Family Religious Council) has stated, “while the regime tries to project itself as progressive, the reality is that China has no intention of abiding by international law or abandoning its hostility to Western religious ideals.”

Is it Christmas all over the world? Apparently not. Christmas celebration extends only to those nations who believe in Christianity, or the birth of Jesus. Obviously, China is not one of them.

As we celebrate Christmas, let us remember those pastors in China who have been arrested, as well as those missionaries around the world in non-Christian nations who may not be able to celebrate Christmas openly due to religious persecution. Let us pray for their covering/protection, and that the glorious hope of Jesus Christ may become a light to the respective nations where they are.

A Little Trivia

2007-12-18T08:41:00.000-05:00

This is a TARSIER, the smallest monkey in the whole world found in the Philippines (specifically in the island of Bohol, central Philippines). They're fast becoming extinct, so the government is taking extra efforts in preserving them.

Doesn't it look more like a rat? But no, it's a monkey.. Tarsiers are so small that they can fit comfortably in the palm of your hands. They're nocturnal creatures, so this one is sleepy.

Oh, this ain't a Tarsier. But this is "JOE-nkey", my banana-eating-hubby.... LOL! (Love you babe!)

Nothing But A Hiccup

2007-12-09T20:37:00.000-05:00

I am tired. As of my writing this blog, I've only slept for a couple of hours. This is because I've had calls from the Philippines almost every couple of hours last night. The last call being at 6:00 am this morning, just when I was finally dozing off!

Yeah, you guessed it. Another situation came up with my father. The girl that's taking care of him (her name is Marilyn) had to go home to her family. Her mother has an emergecy medical situation, and Marilyn needs to go home immediately as her mother might not have much time left anymore!

Since Marilyn came to work for us, I've been depending on heavily on her. She has truly been a blessing from God. She is our full time household help cum caregiver of my parents. And now that my mom is gone, it's just her and my father that's left in the house. When I was in Cebu, I tried to find another person to hire to be with my father and Marilyn but found no one. I wanted another one just incase things like this might happen..............and it really did.

This means that my father would have to be alone in the house, if we can't find someone else who is available and willing to be with him, at least temporarily, while Marilyn attends to her personal matters. If you've read my hubby's blog, you'd know that my father requires help for the most part. He still has difficulty moving around being that he still has an open wound on his heels. He also needs someone to assist him in cleaning his colostomy bag as well.

For a moment, I felt panic rise up within me, like an acid reflux coming up from my stomach. My father called me late last night, and I could hear the fear in his voice. He asked me "what I am going to do? I'm going to be alone"..... I felt so helpless. I am soooo far away! Quoting the bible, I answered my father in a somewhat firm but consoling voice, "Pa, I know that the Lord will never leave nor forsake you, His child". When I said these words, the peace of God just overtook my heart. The panic disappeared and I felt calm within me knowing that the Lord is faithful. I told my father that he is going to be alright. I don't know how we will manage. I just knew that the Lord will do it for us. I am standing on the promises of God's Word and it is giving me the inner strength and comfort I need to handle this recent dilemma.

So, I started calling relatives and friends in the Philippines way into the night (it's daytime in the Philippines)- everyone that I thought who could help us. Praise God, one of our distant relatives agreed to stay with my father. She is an older woman in her 60's but still is very quick and strong. The problem is, she is taking care of her 16 month old grandchild. But at this point we cannot afford to be choosy, so the grandchild came along with her.

So, I am still praying for the Lord to lead us to another person (preferrably someone younger) who can be an additional help for my father at this time. There is one possible young lady, but we are still awaiting her response. Please help us pray that the Lord will touch her and that she will agree to this temporary arrangement. And also, please pray for healing for Marilyn's mother, and for Marilyn herself to know God at this time in her life. Marilyn's mother was being treated by a quack lady doctor who did all sorts of superstitious rituals on her. (The family can't afford to take her mother to the hospital so they settled with the quack doctor). Marilyn does not know the Lord but she's been inquisitive about "my religion". When I was in Cebu, I had the opportunity to share with her about Jesus. I know that the seed has been planted in the her heart. Help me pray that now would be the time for that seed to grow and bear fruit in Marilyn's life.

As I laid on the bed last night (in between the calls), I thought that I might finally going to have a break from all the emergency situations that's been happening in my family since last year. I guess I was wrong.

Strangely though, I truly feel that this recent incident is just but a bump along the way to greatness. I know deep inside that the Lord has something wonderful in store for me in the near future, and this latest situation is just a bit of a hiccup. Nothing to worry about. For "He knows the plans He has for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future". (Jer 29:11)

Lord, thank you for the grace you've given me to remain joyful in hope, patient in affliction, and faithful in prayer. Amen.

Once again, I thank you for your prayers and for your time in reading my blogs. I truly appreciate it. God bless you.

Hats Off To Condi!

2007-12-07T08:55:00.003-05:00

As an act of applauding Condoleeza Rice for her recent fearless action, I am sharing with you in verbatim an article that I lifted off from the Family Research's Council's emailed newsletter. When I read this, I thought that this is worth sharing with everyone. It is so encouraging to know that there are still those who are willing to stand up for what they believe in..... Read up and you'll understand.

Rice Steamed By Domestic Dispute
As Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice is used to dealing with civil unrest overseas. This month, however, it's an internal conflict in her department that's received the most attention. After 26 years service in the Foreign Service, Michael Guest, the U.S. ambassador to Romania, resigned in protest of the State Department's policy on homosexual and cohabiting partners. Frustrated that his boyfriend wasn't granted the same privileges as married spouses, Guest met with the Secretary personally and asked her to reconsider the rules. Despite the political pressure in a department that employs roughly 350 homosexuals, Rice refused. Acquiescing would not only violate the government's Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) but create an unwise precedent of forcing taxpayers to foot the bill for lifestyles that many consider morally reprehensible. Among the complaints, Guest says that same-sex partners don't have access to perks such as government medical care, anti-terrorism training, foreign language training, diplomatic passports or visas, and special emergency evacuation privileges.

Secretary Rice is right to refuse to compromise. As Pat Kennedy, the undersecretary for management, stated, "The Secretary and State Department do not discriminate in hiring or promotions. We are committed to giving our personnel the support they need to get their jobs done." Rightly so; that commitment should not extend to ensuring the comfort of employees' "significant others."

FRC praises Secretary Rice for maintaining the same decorum in her Department that she epitomizes abroad. Join us in applauding Condi for refusing to surrender on this policy matter and in encouraging other government officials to lead by the same example.

I can just imagine the hate coming from the gay community for what Condoleeza Rice has done. But as the Word says, “the spirit offends the flesh”. When one begins to live by the Word of God, then one is bound to come against the principles that the world uphold. Thus, outrage and resentment are the response that one is sure to get from those who are of the world.

But when we really think about this, losing popularity is too small a price to be paid compared to what Jesus went through on the Cross for us, isn’t it?

As the election time approaches, let us pray for government leaders who will be as Daniel was in Babylon. Daniel refused to defile himself by compromising his faith in His God. Let us petition the Lord for leaders who will have the boldness to rise up in the midst of the moral decay in today’s generation and be willing to set their standards high in the Lord Jesus Christ.

So what are you waiting for? Now is a good time as any to start praying for this land…..

Holiday Reflections

2007-11-28T16:36:00.000-05:00

I love Christmas. And everything that it represents... Holiday, joy, gift giving, gift receiving, love, peace, winter, shopping, sales, Christmas carols, Christmas trees, trimmings and decorations, family, parties and get-togethers, food, chocolates.…. and more chocolates…..and more food.

But all these things are but superficial. Christmas is truly the commemoration of Jesus’ birth on earth. Christmas is when the WORD was made flesh and dwelt amongst us; When God the Father decided to send His own Son Jesus to die on the cross for you. And me.

Yes! Jesus came to the world to die for me, a sinful one, totally undeserving of His love. Isn’t that an awesome thought? Why would the God who made heavens and earth hand-pick a nobody like me? Mind-blowing. What a great love. Deeper than the ocean that no one can fathom. Thank you Jesus for loving me before I loved you. Thank you for choosing me before I chose You.

So what are you going to do this holiday season?

Regardless of what you have planned for, I hope that you will take time to celebrate Jesus. Remember Him and His great love for us. Go out of your way to spend time with the Celebrant. Bring Him your present.

And what better gift could we give Him than our time and our grateful hearts? This is the least we can do.

Happy birthday, Jesus !!!

For Holly

2007-11-22T23:08:00.000-05:00

Just want to give a shout out to the Kellers (Holly's parents), the Logans and the rest of the family... Yeeehaaaa!

Since we've been married, Joe and I have been going to Holly's family gatherings during Thanksgiving and Christmas as well as some other special occassions, so much so that Holly's Grandma has already declared us "their adopted family members"..... Yeah, that's how much of a regular we are.... LOL!

To Holly and family, thank you very much your hospitality and warmth. It's so wonderful to spend the holidays with such a close-knit family (reminds me of my very own). Our holidays would not have been the same if not for you and your family. Joe and I are very blessed.

Thank you again and may the Lord continue to prosper and draw your family even closer together.

A note to all those who don't know: Holly's dad is a phenomenal cook and he always prepares a great feast during the Holidays, just like tonight...... yum'oh.

Thanksgiving And A Few Lessons

2007-11-22T13:18:00.000-05:00

Without a doubt, I would say this has been the most challenging year of my life ever. But rather than focusing on the challenges, today, I choose to give testimony to the Lord's goodness in my life.

Things do happen for a reason. So I want to thank the Lord Jesus for all those trials and tribulations, because the testing of my faith has developed in me perserverance and maturity in a way that I would never have, had I not gone through those difficulties.

Here are a few of the valuable lessons I have learned in the midst of my parents' health crisis and my mother's passing away this year:

Health is indeed wealth. You can never take your life for granted.
That my husband really loves me. And I absolutely love him. I am not the same without him.
That I love my parents and would do anything for them to get better.
That every time spent with loved ones / family is precious. Savor every minute of it cause you will never know if that is your last time with them.
It is okay to be vulnerable and to feel weak, and to admit so.
That it is okay to ask for help. And it is okay to receive help.
The Lord truly provides. God uses people and circumstances to meet our needs.
That there is wisdom in seeking many opinions.
That I am emotionally stronger and more resilient than I thought I am.
I have real good friends both in Miami and in Cebu (Philippines).
That I have a great spiritual family in Cebu.
That it is really the PEACE of God that can bring you through any situation in life.
That I am only as strong as my prayer life.

Thank you Jesus for Your LOVE that casts out all fears, for Your GRACE to believe in You, for Your HOPE that brings us through, for Your HOLY SPIRIT who comforts us, for Your WORD that guides us, for Your PROVISION that meets all our needs and for your BLOOD that protects us.

In all things, I will give praise and thanksgiving to You - at all times and in everyway, may Your name be praised. Amen.

In Memoriam

2007-11-17T12:18:00.000-05:00

I just want to share some photos taken during my mother's wake and funeral which I didn't get the chance to post earlier.

To all friends and family, thank you once again for all your support, love and prayers during this difficult time of our life.

May God bless you all as you continue to allow the Lord to use you to bless others.

Gold

2007-11-11T07:49:00.001-05:00

I spent the day today with two of my closest long-time friends, Ruby and Elaine. We've known each other for almost 20 years. Ruby used to be my boss in the previous company I worked for before coming to the U.S., and I knew Elaine from my cell-group in the church.

It was such a joy to have been able to bond with both of them again after such a long time. We were sharing both serious and silly stuff. All 3 of us agree that we have come a long way indeed. We just marvelled at how the Lord have brought us through different life experiences that have made us who we are now. We had fun, and so much laughter especially recalling our "bloopers" in those good ol' times.

The day started with Ruby and I visiting the company where I used to work for 11 yrs before I got married-- CFIF (Cebu Furniture Industries Foundation). CFIF has grown a lot since I left almost 6-yrs ago. The company just moved into their new building. Looking at the building and its new offices, I can't help but feel a bit of nostalgia, missing those highly stressful but very professionally fullfilling times at work. Everything I know professionally, I owe it to CFIF. I had the best professional (as well as emotional) training one could ever have in a job.

I'm glad to say that I was a part of the company, and continue to consider myself a part of this organization. As Ruby has said, what the company is now, is the result of all the hard work and sacrifices we have invested in it for many years. After all, both of us were among the pioneers of the Secretariat and have been instrumental in the evolution of CFIF into what it is at present - a professional organization that is highly respected in the furniture industry.

After CFIF, Elaine joined Ruby and I for lunch at STK. This place is something really that only the locals can truly appreciate. We had grilled tuna panga, calamares and baked scallops to go with our tom yam soup. Hmnn..... very yummy and healthy lunch. Best of all, it was a very affordable meal.

Then all three of us proceeded to drive up to the flower farm of Elaine's boss, which is an hour drive away from the city. It is located in Sudlon, Grand Central which is up in the mountains. Kudos to Elaine, for her courage. She successfully maneuvered her car through those difficult road challenges, which made the trip even more worthwhile.

The flower farm is breath-taking. Definitely not something I can find in Maimi. The farm is nestled in the valley between hills. There are rows and rows of expensive species of orchid - cattleya, waling-waling and what have you's. Dotted along the hectares of land are a hundred different kinds of flowers like hydrangeas, roses, asters, gerbera, etc. as well as ornamental plants.

I don't know why they call the place a "farm" when it looks to me more like a park. The place is very well taken cared of, very well maintained. While they did have a plantation of flowers, but the owners clearly purposed the place for more than just agricultural. They also had R&R (rest and relaxation) in mind.

There is an awesome viewing deck where we can see the panoramic view of the plantation. The facility is charming, very rustic in its appeal with the old logs and train rails used for the building. And as we explored the farm, we saw a cute little cottage and many different kiosks in strategic places where people can have a picnic, or just rest to enjoy the view and the fresh air. There even is a tree house, and a play house for children! These are very nice touches. The place is definitely romantic, an excellent setting for a wedding. Right, Elaine?

And what's the perfect ending for the day after all the trekking we've done in the mountain? A SPA! This indulgence is Ruby's treat. Too bad Elaine couldn't come with us. But Ruby and I relished every moment of our full body massage, facial and foot spa. All of these for only about $12! What a treat, indeed!

2-1/2 hours later, I was totally physically relaxed, and with an armful of 4 different kinds of flower bouquets (that I bought for only $1, mind you), I went home just awed at the Lord's goodness and blessings. And my heart is so grateful to God. I especially thank Him for blessing me with friends / friendships that have withstood the test of times. As the old script goes..."Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold..."

Indeed like gold, the value of a friend appreciates as time goes by. Praise GOD for Ruby and Elaine. They're among my golden treasures.

Covenant Friend

2007-11-08T10:33:00.000-05:00

I love the story of David and Jonathan. I think there is no greater agape love exemplified in the bible (apart from Jesus' love for us) than the story of their relationship - that of a covenant friendship..

Yes, what is covenant friendship? Here are some food for thoughts on this topic as shared by my friend, Happy.

What defines a covenant friendship?

*A real covenant friendship is beyond mutual agreement on everything. It is a relationship solely based on Agape --- laying down one's life for the other.

*A real covenant friendship lives by the rules of honesty, transparency and truth. They are not afraid to speak the truth and neither does the recipient of a truthful advice get offended. Both submit to and honor one another.

*A covenant friend loves and therefore gives caution when seen as needed.

*A covenant friend does not fear disagreement from the other side, but is open to correction, rebuke and even an honest evaluation.

*Real covenant friendships are not defined by the number of "fun parties or hang-outs" they've spent together with each other. Although that has a place in such a relationship, what defines a real covenant friendship is the absence of fear which reflects the presence of perfect love. Because perfect love casts out all fears.

*A covenant friend covers a multitude of sins. He/she protects the other party from gossip and slander. Covenant people understand the meaning of covering.

If you are running with a God-given mandate and a God-ordained purpose, be sure you have covenant partners running beside you. You need them. And they, you.

We are grateful to the Lord for establishing in covenant relationships as we do the work of the Kingdom. God knows we need them in this race.

However, remember that ONLY Jesus is the best and perfect covenant partner--ever!!!

The End

2007-11-07T04:40:00.000-05:00

"I felt the earth move under my feet..." or so an 80's song by Carole King says.

There are only a few things more disquieting than having your walls and floor rock back-and- forth in a swaying motion. It felt for a moment that I was in a hammock. Except that the motion was not soothing at all.

Earlier today our island of Cebu experienced a minor earth tremor. It was minor, thank God. Nothing came loose, got broken or fell down. At least not in our house. To be honest, it was that minor that even our household help, who was so involved in drying her hair, didn't even feel it.

But I did. And so did my father. I was peacefully seated in the living room going through some documents when I felt my chair started boogieing. I thought at first that my dog was under my chair scratching himself. But then my father, who fell asleep in a chair opposite me, suddenly woke up. The funny thing is, he thought the same - that maybe our dog was under his chair. Yeah, poor doggy Prinz.

I noticed the ceiling fan started to move. This triggered thoughts of devastation in my head. With the Tsunami in Indonesia/Thailand a couple of years ago and the recent Peru disaster fresh in my mind, I was trying to feel the tremor. Was it going to last long? Is it getting stronger? I was preparing myself to run out of the house or hide somewhere.

But thankfully the earthquake only lasted for about 4 seconds. We found out later through the news that we had intensity #4 in the Richter scale. The epicenter was in Bohol, another island east of where I am. They had intensity #5 there.

We had a strong earthquake many years ago which caused great devastation and a lot of deaths in our country. But thank God there is no reported major casualty this time around. Damages only went as far as old school buildings getting cracked as a result of the movement of the ground.

As I go to bed tonight, I will be pondering on this verse once more: " ....There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. All these are the beginning of birth pains.....(Matt. 24: 6-14).

Indeed, the end is near. We must be ready.

Struggle

2007-11-03T08:18:00.000-04:00

Tonight I caught my dad in his room crying. Since the hospital, he has not been eating so well, only about 2 spoonfuls at a time. He said that he does not have the appetite due to the many different kinds of medications he is taking (he has over a dozen to take per day). But I really do think that he is depressed.

This depression is mainly brought about by his situation now - what happened with his heels. And on top of that, he is still mourning the loss of my Mom. A fact that was confirmed when I asked him why he was crying. His answer was "I miss your Mother". He is sad as he has not been able to go to the cemetery to visit my mother for a few weeks because of his swollen heel.

My father's reply brought tears to my eyes. We both miss my mother but I guess it hurts him more, being that he was with my mother for nearly 50 years.

But I tried to be strong and I reminded him that Mama is in a better place now. And that I know she would want him to be well again.

The harder part was when he said that he'll be more lonely when I leave to go back to the U.S. We have a full-time househelp taking care of him, but I know it is still much different when I am around. I know he relies a lot on me now.

I am truly torn. I need to go back to Miami but yet I don't want to leave my dad. This is a constant struggle in my heart, a very difficult position to be in.

I wish that I can take him with me now, but it is definitely not possible. First, because his heels need to get healed. Second, because I haven't been able to get him a passport, and consequently we haven't applied yet for his visa. It is such a long story but the beaurocracy and red-tape in the Philippine government is pretty much the cause of all the slow process. All this time, the only thing I managed to get for him was his birth certificate (late registration). And even so, I still do not have it on hand. I still have to wait for the official copy for month!

So please help me pray for quick healing for his heels, favor for his passport documents and U.S. Visa applications, and financial provision so that we (Joe and I) will be able to get my father to come to the U.S. as soon as possible.

I know he would not want to live in the U.S., but I think a vacation, a change would do him good.

Great Day, Good Leg

2007-11-01T08:20:00.000-04:00

My father was discharged from the hospital yesterday. It was a great day, because he came home with both his legs intact. Praise be to God.

My father had the surgery on his heels Friday of last week. It took us a few days to decide which doctor to choose. I felt that we needed a second opinion and consult other doctors because the first Orthopedic surgeon had a negative attitude -- I mean, I know doctors are supposed to explain to us the worst situation that could happen -- but this one just scared my father and I. He was just too unfeeling about our situation.

So after a tiring process of going from one doctor to the other, and with lots of prayers, I decided to go with the Orthopedic surgeon who did my mother's hip surgery 3 years ago, and who also is a good friend of my cousin. This doctor is not only reputable, but he is also calm and encouraging. The best thing he said was that he will try his best to avoid amputation. It's not a promise, but at least I know he'll try. That's just what I want.

The procedure that my father had was called debridement, a process of removing the pus and all the necrotic tissues in the infected area to improve the chances of the good tissues to heal. The doctor did a culture on my dad's tissue to find out the kind of bacteria that thrived on his heels. Apparently there were at least two kinds, and the other one being pretty resistant. I didn't cacth the names of the bacterias but I'm sure they ended with "-coccus" or "-cocci". :o)

After the operation, my father was pumped with intravenous anti-biotics for 7 days. The doctor's goal is to kill the bacteria of course, and to make sure that the wound stays red and not turn dark. If the wound stays red, then my father's chances of healing is good. Otherwise.... you know the worst case scenario.

But God is good. My father responded to the anti-biotics well and the wound looks red and bleeding (which in this case is a good sign). The anti-biotics though cost $100 per day, on top of all his regular meds which is about 14 different kinds. Whew! Pretty expensive. But then again, nothing is too expensive for my father's legs and life.

As for me, I think I've come to a point where I've learned to let go and not worry too much. I know what I see but most importantly, I know what God can do. It is difficult, especially when you see your father very sad (still mourning my mother's death) and your finances getting limited each day (and you don't know what you'd do when nothing's left). But I have decided to rest on the Lord and not let my emotion affect my faith in God. I am in a state of peace - not perfect yet, but getting there. He is in control, so hard as it may be, "I" am trying to step aside. I don't want to get in the way with what He wants to do in our life.

To all those who remembered to pray for us and my father, thank you once again. May God bless you as you continue to remain available for God's use.

One Flesh

2007-10-24T11:41:00.000-04:00

Genesis 2:24 says—“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh”.

I am sure that you’re very familiar with the above passage. After all, this is one of the most widely used versesfor weddings, isn’t it?

Today I just want to share with you how the Lord used circumstances in my life for me to understand more what being “one-flesh” is all about.

Since I got married on 2002, I’d never been apart from my husband - until last year (2006) when medical emergencies with my parents necessitated my travel to the Philippines several times… alone!

I first thought that it would not be such a big deal. But boy was I wrong. Leaving my husband for the first time was much more difficult than I thought it would be…. I was crying from Miami all the way to HongKong! It was embarrassing, but there was nothing I could do to hold back the tears. Sounds corny, but my heart just ached for him!

Being without my husband really felt that a part of me was missing, that I was only half the person I am without Joseph. Anything I did by myself seemed to be not complete…because he wasn’t there to share the moment with me.

Yes… anything that I share with my husband means so much more. Joys are multiplied. Sorrows are subtracted. Trials are divided. Achievements are added. Just because I am able to share everything with him. This must be what God meant by becoming “one-flesh” - being so much entertwined with your spouse emotionally and spiritually that neither one of us stands independent from the other. Together, we make one complete person....

To Joe… I love you Honey. Even as you are flying back to Miami without me as of my writing this blog, I am missing you. It is not the same without you here in the Philippines. It isn’t easy walking around with just the half of me, you know… :o)

Babe, thank you for your love and for being my strength especially during these past few weeks. You’ve continued to be my “anchor” in times when my sail gets “blown by the wind”. You are the voice of wisdom when I get all crazy and unreasonable. You make me laugh with your silly and corny jokes. I am so blessed with your heart. And I am so blessed to be sharing life with you.

I love you and I thank God that He answered my prayers through and with you.

See you in Miami in a couple of weeks, Lord willing.

Walking On Water

2007-10-19T12:37:00.000-04:00

I feel like I am Peter in the bible... not the one who is walking

on water, but the one who is sinking in the water.

A tropical depression is once again brewing in the horizon of my life and I can only hope and pray that this will not become a full-fledged hurricane. (Do you think I've lived in South Florida long enough? LOL) Seriously though, looks like the stormy weather in my life is far from over.

My father has yet again another health issue that we need to deal with ASAP. If you recall in my previous blogs, I have mentioned that blood clotted on his heels and ankles which caused those part of his feet to be swollen. This has started shortly before my mother passed away. My father has seen his doctor once since then, who just gave him antibiotics to take. Well, the swelling has not subsided at all and instead has gotten worse, causing the skin to break out.

To make a long story short - I took my father to the Orthopedic surgeon today who then told us that my father needs an operation on both of his heels. The skin ulcers and swelling on his heels have apparently become gangrenous. The doctor needs to scrape off all the dead tissues and let all the puss out from there- a process that will leave a big hole in his heels which the doctor said might be difficult to patch up. But that's not the major concern- the big one is whether or not my father will have to have his legs amputated. We don't want the bacteria to reach his bloodstream causing a septic condition that is potentially fatal where it would be too late for us to do anything.

The procedure to be done on my father is considered a major operation since he's going to have to be under general anesthesia. This means that he needs to be admitted to the hospital for a number of days!

Once again, I am faced with a life and death situation. I said in my earlier blogs that we discovered my father has a coronary triple vessel disease and any procedure done on him would be more dangerous than the average person of the same age. On the other hand, if we don't have this surgery, my dad runs the risk of either leg amputation and developing the fatal septic condition.

I listened incredulously to the doctor as the full implication of what he was telling us hit me... another hospitalization, another health scare, another financial expense! It was at this month last year that we first learned of my mother's breast cancer... and it seems to me that the process has begun all over again.

I am not doubting the Lord's goodness nor for a second do I question His plans for us, but during a moment of weakness, and in all desperation, all I could utter was the question.... "Lord, is this ever going to end? Have you ever heard my prayers?"..... I am just being real, being "naked" before the Lord.

I was walking on water, but now I am sinking.... my eyes are on the winds and the waves in my life. All of us go through these weak moments. I am having mine right now.

To our friends and family, please continue to pray now for Papa's healing and for us, as we need God's wisdom, intervention, and provision to meet the needs that this new situation may present to us.

Thank you all for your continued support.

Strike 2! Another Disparaging Comment

2007-10-05T20:42:00.000-04:00

Even before the outrage over the Desperate Housewives' racial slur on Philippine medical schools could even subside, another American TV show made a very objectionable comment about the Philippines. In my opinion, this is even worse than what was said in Desperate Housewives in that, the disrespect was towards one of the Philippines' former lady Presidents.

As you can see in the video clip above from the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, a segment which was supposed to answer the question, "Is America ready for a woman President?" was featured. In it is our former President Corazon (Cory) Aquino's photo (along with 3 other women leaders from other countries) was shown with a word "SLUT" written across it, and the voice over saying "Corazon Aquino faced down dictators"....

What is wrong with American TV shows? And most especially, why is the Philippines suddenly becoming the topic of these very lowly and unpalatable jokes? True, Jon Stewart's show is based on political satire, and while that word "slut" could have referred to our former President's political choices (I don't know, I can only assume), my opinion is still that the word choice was foul, done in extremely poor taste and terribly insensitive.

One can only think -- what if it was the other way around? What if some Philippine TV show made fun of any of the former or current American President? I am sure the Americans will not take it sitting down. I cannot even begin to imagine the very bad repercussions it would bring about our economy as a result of some derogatory remarks about an american leader....

Freedom of speech is a right that we enjoy. But like anything else, it comes with responsibility. Just because we have this freedom may mean that we are free to say what we want to anytime, anywhere, to anybody, but that does not make it right, or the right thing to do. The media should be especially aware of this being that they're supposed to be the vehicle for factual, accurate, and respectful information dissemanated to the people. When speaking of other people, we cannot even limit ourselves to the same behaviors or criteria that we use when we hire or fire employees. But just wait until we get off of work, and then we can say and do whatever we want, at least until enough people make a fuss about it, then suddenly we're apologetic. Maybe we should all go to rehab?

Freedom of speech should be used responsibly, as I am certain that the founders of the United States had written it into the Constitution, and likewise many Armed Forces Personnel have put their lives at risk, so that the 1st Amendment (as well as the rest) could be used for higher and more noble purposes than we see today. What a shame.

Furthermore, I myself am not "into" politics. I may not like everything that Cory Aquino does or has done, nor do I agree with everything that Pres. George Bush is doing, but there is one thing that I will always remember -- that they are the HIGHEST LEADERS of the land and were ELECTED by their very own people. For this reason, I will have to pay respect to the OFFICE that they represent, even if I have to agree to disagree with something that they support.

We all have a voice, but we also have a responsibility to use that voice responsibly. We are accountable for our our actions and our words.

Opinions are like belly buttons - everybody's got one. Some people have really big one's that stick out, some have rings, and some even retract like they don't really have one at all. To make things so bad, there are some of us that have ugly, nasty, belly buttons that are infected and full of pus and we don't even cover them up, instead we wear it out for all to see no matter who gets offended.

Now my question is -- Which belly button are you?

Desperate "Hate"-wives

2007-10-03T06:47:00.001-04:00

Yes, I am referring to ABC's popular TV show, Desperate Housewives. This show has recently made headlines here in my country and has elicited a lot of angry reactions. Apparently on its premier episode on 9/30/07, a racial slur was said against the Filipino medical doctors. In the scene, Susan (Teri Hatcher) was told by her doctor that she might be hitting the menopausal stage, to which she replied " wait, before we proceed, let me take a look at those diplomas. I just want to make sure that it doesn't come from med schools like, the Philippines!"

Wow, what a totally inconsiderate, ignorant, hateful, racially discriminating remark! And with the media coverage that Isaiah Washington got when he said something about gays, Michael Richards against the African-Americans, and Rosie O'Donnell saying something stupid about the Asian-Americans (Chinese, to be specific), I am surprised that this type of derogatory remark has made it through the screenwriters, producers, actors and ABC's management itself!

Whoever wrote the script, wrote it in IGNORANCE. And Teri Hatcher is equally stupid for saying those lines. For those who are unaware, let me share some information with you concering the Filipino health care providers in the U.S.:

1) Filipinos, I believe, are the 2nd largest ethnic group in the U.S. Many of those entering the U.S. are making it as nurses, doctors and medical technicians.

2) Filipinos are able to work in the U.S. medical field because they all passed the U.S. board licensing exams, which I heard is NO piece of cake. So, that means that they are QUALIFIED to work here and have passed the U.S. standards -- their exam results say so... So they are not in the least stupid.

3) The Philippines is the largest Nurse producer in the whole wide world, especially in the U.S. I am sure that many major hospitals all over the U.S. will not be able to operate WITHOUT their Filipino nurses, doctors and medical staff.

4) We have been providing the U.S. with our BEST, to the point of compromising our own local health care system.

Regardless of their motivation, it is undeniable that Filipino nurses, doctors and medical technicians work very hard here in the U.S. That's why I strongly feel that this remark is totally uncalled for and is highly disrespectful of the race that has contributed significantly to the health care industry of this country.

If ABC claims that this comment was done in order to add humor to the show, then it has greatly failed because the statement is neither funny nor smart. We, Filipinos have done nothing to deserve the devaluation of our services in this nation.

So, I am banding together with the U.S. Filipino community in demanding an apology from ABC, and for them to edit/remove this racially biased remark. Such messages should not be permitted both on TV and in the airwaves.

While I love the U.S. and value everything that it is for me and my family, the blood that runs in my veins are still that of a pure-bred Filipino.

And I am very proud to be one!

So Long, Mama

2007-10-01T02:53:00.000-04:00

The dreaded time came so very fast-- my Mother's funeral. September 30, 2007 was the hardest day of my life. I sobbed as men carried my Mother's coffin out of the house. This would be the last time that she would enter or exit the house, ever.

The funeral march began at 1:30PM. Joseph and I, along with my family and friends marched behind the hearse carrying my mother's coffin on the way to the (Catholic) church. We were walking in the middle of the roadway and proceeded at a snail's pace. Along the way, people passing us tossed peso coins (by the hearse) from their vehicles. This is a Filipino practice that has folkloric origins to it. People here believe that it is bad luck to pass by a funeral march while driving, and that tossing coins would break the curse and prevent the vehicle from having any accidents on the road.

At the church, we found out that we were the 3rd in line. There was another funeral mass going on inside, and another one waiting before us. Somehow, somebody was late. My mother's funeral was scheduled at 2:30PM but it finally started at 3:00PM. I was seated in between my father and my husband in the church, right at the pew where my mother used to love sitting when coming to the church. My father was teary-eyed as he shared this memory with me.

The mass was all in my dialect (Cebuano), so I was busy trying to translate everything to Joseph. The 30-minute ceremony was over before I knew it. The priest then asked the family members to gather around the coffin while he was blessing it with holy water and incense. I was staring at my mother, fighting the sob that was rising up my throat. One of my mother's sister started to weep, and when I felt my father wept as well, that did it - -- I couldn't hold my tears any longer and I broke down along with my family. My husband, who is usually reserved also cried along with us. He, too, is missing my mother.

When the mass was over, the funeral march resumed. This time we were headed to the cemetery. The walk was just maybe about 10-15mins. My steps were heavy. I realized that we were nearing the end of my mother's earthly journey.

After what seemed like an eternity, we were finally standing in front of my family's burial lot. We waited until the men brought the coffin in front of my mother's tomb, her final resting place on earth. We were again given a few more last-viewing minutes.... This would be the last time that I would ever get the chance to stare at the face of the woman who loved me and cared for me for most of my entire life. That's when deep sadness overcame my soul and I wept so very much, wishing I could just have my mother back, but I know this is not possible. Inside of me, I was whispering "Mama, I hope you know how much I love you. I'm sorry that I wasn't here with you during your last moments." As I've said before in my previous blogs, this is my greatest regret and to be honest, I still am having difficulty coming to terms with this.

All of my family were weeping (again) with me. Joseph, too, "lost it" when he saw my mother's name inscribed in the headstone. Then I felt my father's hand go up my back and said to me, "that's enough, let her go". And so I said my final goodbye. "Buh-bye, Mama, so long. I will see you in heaven someday".

A minister from my (Christian) church did the committal prayer before they finally closed the coffin and pushed it inside the tomb. Indeed from dust we came and from dust we return. As Christians, our beginning and our end doesn't matter so much. What really matters is the in between -- how we lived our life and what legacy we leave behind. Both my father and I agree that my mother lived her life as best as she could. She gave her best to us as a wife and mother and we both are thankful to the Lord for her life. We will greatly miss you, Mama.

To all my family and friends, thank you so very much for all your sympathy, support and prayers. May God bless you all.

Merry Christmas

2007-09-26T04:22:00.000-04:00

Filipinos probably celebrate Christmas the earliest of any culture in the world. For us, Christmas begins as soon as the months of the year ending in “-ber” (e.g., September, October, etc.) come around. This is evidenced by the Christmas carols already being played in the malls and Christmas decorations already being put up and sold in many stores in the Philippines.

My mother absolutely loved Christmas. Earlier today, my father and I were sharing this bitter-sweet memory of how, around this time of the year, Mama would have already started preparing her Christmas decorations. Mama would sort them and hang them one- at-a-time each day. Today, this memory has brought tears to my father’s eyes. Simply put, Papa misses Mama, and the thought of putting up a tree this Christmas seems unbearable.

Christmas is a special season of celebrating the Lord’s birth, bringing in good tidings and cheer. But for my family this year, Christmas will be a time of remembering and missing Mama, who cannot be physically with us anymore to celebrate the “most wonderful time of the year”. And even though she is now with the Lord, part of her remains with us, enabling us to reflect upon cherished memories of past Christmas times and look forward to new memories as the Lord heals our hearts – we miss you, Mama.

Since Christmas is already in the air here in the Philippines, then let me be the first one to greet you “Merry Christmas”! Just for the record.

I'm Home, Mama

2007-09-22T14:34:00.001-04:00

First of all I would like to extend my heartfelt gratitude for all the sympthay, words and acts of kindness for me and my family during this difficult time in our lives. Please continue to lift us up in prayer because I can still see many obstacles ahead. But these obstacles are opportunities for the Lord to work in my family, and Joe and I want to see that happen.

As for our trip --- after many hours of flight, little sleep, and non-gourmet airline food ---we arrived in Cebu, Philippines earlier this afternoon. We were greeted by my friends Karen and Salome, Karen’s daughter Nicole, and my beloved pastor from Maranatha Church, Pastor Joe DiSarno. They were gracious enough to transport us to my parent’s house across town. The viewing (wake) will be a week-long event, and as has been the custom in my family for many years, it will be held at our home. Our house is the ancestral home that my father inherited from his parents. This house has already hosted three wakes: my grandmother (1983), my grandfather (1990) and now my mother. Many family members and long-time friends have come and will continuously come to the house to pay their respects to Mama and to our family.

As for me, it was difficult walking into the house knowing that part of what had made it MY HOME for most of my life would no longer be there. This time it was different - Mama's smile never greeted me, nor did I see that special twinkle in her eyes that made her face light up(and mine,too) every time I come home….. Needless to say, it’s a terrible feeling, one that I wish nobody else has to go though.

But what hurts even further is to see my Dad. While it is difficult for my father to have lost his wife of nearly 50 years, one consolation for him is to know that my mother is not suffering and not in pain anymore, and is now with the Lord.

Once the funeral is over, my concern is for my father. They were the best of friends for such a long time and I hope that he would not become too depressed without her. There will be lonely days ahead, I’m sure, but I hope and pray that the Lord will fill that emptiness that happens when you lose someone so close to you.

I’ll be in touch and appreciate your comments, prayers and words of encouragement.
Until later,
Jescel and Joseph

Mama, I Love You

2007-09-19T22:29:00.001-04:00

A few hours ago I learned that my mother, Celia Sibal-Cañedo, passed on to be with the Lord (around Sept 20th, 5:00 AM, Philippine time). If you’ve been reading my blogs, you would know that she had been undergoing treatments for breast cancer and had been fighting as hard as she could until her body finally gave out.

Everything happened so very fast that I still could not believe it.

It was just two days ago when I was on the phone with her. I know she was trying hard to speak inspite of pain. We only spoke for maybe a minute but during that brief moment, I was able to tell her that I love her and to hold on to Jesus.

Cancer may have ravaged her physical body, but I know that victory ultimately belongs to her. She is now in a better place - with Jesus - with a glorified body free of pain and suffering

My only regret is that I was not with her during the last days of her life. I would have wanted to be with her, to hold her. This is the most painful thing for me to deal with right now.

My husband and I are flying to the Philippines tomorrow, Sept. 20th. We will be in the Philippines on Saturday (Sept 22nd). We are asking for your prayers in that God would 1) encourage and strengthen us during this time of loss; 2) that our family's needs (i.e., physical, spiritual, financial) would be met in the days ahead; 3) that the joy of the Lord will be with us knowing that Mama is no longer suffering in her physical body, and is now present with our Lord Jesus Christ, to whom she served.

So Limited

2007-09-16T01:23:00.000-04:00

I was cleaning the house today when I began reminiscing the times I had with friends when I was in the Philippines, remembering the occasional weekend getaways we used to take. One particular trip was to Santander, located south of Cebu island, Philippines (where I come from). Dolphin sightings have begun to attract tourists there at that time, and of course, it was the perfect excuse for a weekend rendezvous. So off we went on a motorized boat to see those Dolphins at around 5:00AM. The guide took us to the middle of the ocean around where the Dolphins usually choose to show themselves. We waited for hours in anticipation, but alas, the Dolphins decided to take a leave of absence that day, much to our disappointment.

Oftentimes we forget that we have a limited view of life – because we are limited beings. We do not see what God sees. That’s why it’s hard for us to understand what is happening around us at times, especially when we are in the midst of a difficult circumstance.

The situation with my parents, especially with my mother seemed to have taken the worse turn. My mother’s condition has plummeted so much in the last few weeks it’s unbelievable. What my father relates to me is heartbreaking. My mother moans in agony more and more due to the pain wracking her whole body. Her features have now changed – she looks all bloated, her face swollen, her eye drooping and she can now barely speak. And then as if this isn't worse enough, a couple of days ago my dad began to feel dizzy and nauseous, and his ankles and heels also have gotten inflamed. From what he told me, it sounds like blood is clotting on that area of his feet. His doctor is still here in the U.S. and won't be back till Sept. 24th.

It hasn’t even been 2 months since I got back from the Philippines, and now it seems like I will have to go back again. It has been extremely tough for me being away from them. They need me now more than ever. And I thank God my husband understands this completely. We are currently making plans for a trip to the Philippines, though we know that this will be very challenging for us financially. Budget has been tight since this whole ordeal with my mother began, then followed by my father’s medical emergency not too long ago, not to mention the two trips to the Philippines I've made this year so far. But we are trusting the Lord our Jehovah Jireh to meet all our needs. He knows this trip is necessary.

My cross is getting heavier, my eyesight's beginning to grow dim. There’s so much now I cannot see as far as my parents’ condition and our finances are concerned. But Jeremiah 29:11 says: “For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a FUTURE and a HOPE”... The Lord God is omniscient – He sees the panoramic view of our life. While I see but just a portion, He sees the entire picture.

Isaiah 55: 9 reminds me that “as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my [His] ways higher than your [my] ways and my [His] thoughts than your [my] thoughts.” My view of life is restricted by my humanness. But I will not allow this limitation to prevent me from trusting the Lord Almighty. If faith is the substance of things that are hoped for, of things that are unseen, then I will continue to put my faith in Him. For He is my way, He is my truth and He is my life. His word says that He will not leave His children nor forsake them. He is my stronghold and my Rock. He is my Deliverer. He is my refuge and my shelter, my God in whom I trust.

I Did It

2007-09-15T13:51:00.000-04:00

I’m sure you’ve had paper cuts on your fingers that you were totally oblivious to until you washed your hands and you felt the sting from the soap. And then you wonder, “when did this happen?” All you know was that you were going through some of the files earlier that day, but you never felt the paper cut through your flesh at all. Well, that’s kinda what happened to me this week.

On Thursday afternoon when I left the office, I discovered there was this huge scratch on the front bumper of my car! I can’t recall hitting anything, so it must have been done by somebody from my office. From the damage, it looks like the car was either pulling in or backing out of the parking space right next to me. I was indignant, totally outraged at the thought that someone could just take off after having done this. This damage isn't negligible at all!

Of course, I had to face the “wrath” of my husband that night…LOL.. Seriously, he handled it pretty well. Of course, he was frustrated at the thought of the “inconsiderate person” that messed up our car.

So the next day, I set out early for work because I planned to do some sleuthing..(I love forensic shows, so I felt like a member of the CSI trying to solve a crime). I had to find out who did this. Work on the car could run up to a minimum of $500, and this has to be settled. I had my camera, ready to take a snapshot of the evidence. I planned on looking for some tell-tale fresh damages/scratches on other cars that would lead me to the culprit. But as I was driving to work I remembered that at lunch time the previous day, I tried to back into the parking space I was in. There was not much room and I did come close to the ramp (going to the warehouse). But I didn’t feel an impact whatsoever, so I thought that it just could not be possible. I prayed and asked for the Holy Spirit to lead me to the truth that will set me free; that for Him to convict the person who is guilty, or reveal to me, if I did it myself. Well, I didn't have to wait long to receive an answer to my prayer.

At the office, one of my bosses helped me out. He looked at the damage to the car, and at once he told me that the scratch looked like it is from a concrete and not from another car. We looked at the ramp closely, and sure enough, the evidence was there – scratches on the stucco with my blue car paint. When I was negotiating that radius turn to back into that parking space, I must have hit the stucco. I was going real slow and since the bumper is made of some plastic material, it must have just deflected - reason why I didn’t feel or hear an impact. No kidding, I felt like a big fool.

On hindsight, this incident reminded me of how we all are as human beings. God told us what not to do through His Word and He gave us the freedom of choice. But everytime we sin, we are so ready to blame everyone and everything else but ourselves. We come up with so many excuses why, when in actuality, no one pushed us to fall but – us! Adam ate the apple that Eve gave, but when God asked him about it, Adam blamed Eve and the snake. He did not take responsibility for his own actions. This is our “Adam-ic” (sinful) nature!

Honestly, deep inside I wished someone else scratched the car. It’s hard to admit when you've done wrong. Why? Because it is humiliating. But I told my husband the truth. Honesty is the best policy. Above all, Jesus wants truth in our inward parts. So I took the responsibility for what I did. It is a lesson learned – an expensive one at that! But you know, stuff like this happens in our lives all the time. We just have to be prepared to take the responsibility for our actions and learn from it. Thank God He is gracious, and His love is fresh every morning. His love covers a multitude of sins. (1 Pet 4:8)

I've heard this line from a preaching a long time ago and it has become one of my favorites -- “Some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. Some people wonder what happened.” Wanna take a guess which group I belong to ? Just for this week, ok? ;o)

Divorce

2007-09-12T15:35:00.001-04:00

Over the past few weeks the evangelical community has been shaken to the core. Two of the most prominent, popular couples pastoring mega-churches here in the U.S. have decided to file for a divorce. The first couple being – Rev. Thomas Weeks III and Juanita Bynum, second being Bishop Randy and Paula White.

I don’t know much about the husbands, but I do know a little bit about Juanita Bynum, and a lot about Paula White. Both women’s ministries have affected my life somehow. I’ve seen both of their shows on TV, have their CDs and read books written by Paula White. Both of them seem to have all that a woman can wish for – married to husbands who are serving the Lord and ministries that span all across the globe. It seemed that both women are living the calling that God would have them do. They’ve got it all together. Or so it seemed.

News about their divorce has really disturbed me. This has led me to think about so many things, some of which I am going to write down here. But before that, please understand that I am not judging any of these people. I know that it is never my place to judge as I am as sinful as anyone of them.

Anyhow, here are my thoughts on these unfortunate circumstances:

1. This development sheds so much negative light on Christians. In a country where the marriage institution is already being challenged as it is, this is the last thing we need.

2. My heart goes out to the congregation of the couples' respective churches. This must be a very confusing time for them, and I’m sure this situation has elicited many different reactions – some of grief, some of anger. In any case, I do hope and pray that they will hold on to God and focus their eyes on Jesus. I hope that this will not rob them of their faith in marriage, that is in the first place, instituted by God.

3. A church leader is held to a higher accountability mainly because they affect so many lives – they’re supposed to be an example in holiness and godliness to their congregation. In 1 Tim 1:1-5, Paul has eloquently set the standards for overseers/leaders. There are two important points that stand out to me from this passage: #1- that an overseer must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect. If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church? #2 – that an overseer must be a husband of but one wife. This point can spur a lot of debate, but personally, I prefer to stick to a more stringent standard – that an overseer should NOT have a history of divorce. These are the reasons why I will have a problem attending a church whose head Pastor has divorce written on his Resumè.

4. Because of my 3rd point above, I believe those ministers should take a sabbatical leave and step down from their respective ministries. They need to do a deep searching within them and allow God to break, heal and restore them. It doesn’t mean that they cannot minister anymore – yes they can, but only not as a head Pastor of a church. My personal opinion.

5. What happened to these couple have made me realize once again that we need to pray for our church leaders/Senior pastors. They have a bigger accountability than an ordinary church goer but yet have the same weaknesses and are susceptible to the same temptations as any of us. The bible clearly exhorts us to pray for our leadership.

6. Though the circumstances of their divorce have not been divulged, but I am almost sure that money is a factor. These two women have achieved a level of “fame” and acquired “fortune” through their million-dollar ministries. Love of money is the root of all evil. I can only assume that somehow in the course of their ministry’s success, they may have lost their focus on God and unknowingly have started pursuing riches in the guise of ministry. Thing is, God in the end, will expose everything that is hidden because He sees our hearts. Pride goes before failure, destruction before a fall. The higher you go, the harder the fall.

7. These two women have become more prominent than their husbands. Paula, for instance, is jet-setting all over the US to be in different conferences and speaking engagements, not to mention the many different profit and non-profit ventures she’s involved in. What she’s doing is admirable. But makes me wonder – does she have any time for her husband and family? Prov. 31 clearly describes a wife who is busy with the affairs of her household in all aspects. Her first ministry is her home. I hear people say – it’s not the quantity, but the quality of time that matters. How is “quality time” defined anyways? Shopping? Vacations? Little talk here and there? Every time spent with family – the good, the bad and the ugly – they’re all quality time because that’s what makes a relationship. And relationships are developed and strengthened DAILY.

8. Matt. 19:7-9, Mark 10:10-12 says that divorce is only permitted only if there is marital unfaithfulness. But even if a husband or wife divorces his/her spouse because of this, they still are not permitted to re-marry (unless their spouse dies). I hope and pray that both of these couples will be able to work out their differences, forgive one another and decide against going through the divorce. Otherwise, I believe that they would be living in direct disobedience to God’s word.

Ok…there are still so many things that I could write about but let these suffice for now. The above are just food for thoughts and you are welcome to agree or disagree with me.

Marriage takes more than just love to make it work. It takes commitment too. In all humility, in the last 5 yrs I admit that my husband and I have had moments, but by the grace of God we were able to work things out. I pray that we will never come to the point where the couples I’ve mentioned above are. Because a three-stranded cord cannot easily be broken, I believe that for as long as JESUS remains in the center of our union, and that both of us are continuing to draw ourselves closer to GOD, our marriage will remain strong.

To my husband, I love you. Thank you for loving me – all of my good, bad and ugly :o) Thank you for your patience and your support. You are God’s answer to my prayers. Without you, I am just half the woman I am. May I remain yours and you mine, 'til Jesus calls us back to Him. Amen.

Good, Godly Sunday

2007-09-09T19:28:00.000-04:00

It’s been a good Sunday, so far. We went to Flamingo Road Church (Doral) again today. And I’m glad that we did. The worship today was exceptional. It moved me deeply and met me at the point of my need, where the Holy Spirit was able to do His ministry within me. I was touched at the core of my spirit and was able to release to the Lord the dam of emotions within me, laying them down at the foot of His cross. The Lord does not despise a broken spirit and a contrite heart - and broken and contrite was I today. During worship, tears were just streaming continuously down my face uncontrollably. I was

a child weeping at the bosom of my Abba Father, my Daddy God and it seemed like His strong arms were around me and He was whispering to me softly “it’s alright, my beloved”. I felt secure. Oh, where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is indeed freedom. A heavy burden was lifted off of me today. How wonderful it is to be in His presence.

To the worship team lead by Heredes, kudos to you guys. It does make a difference when a worship team worships in spirit and in truth. There is a marked distinction between a good performance and anointed worship. A good performance is remembered for a moment, but an anointed worship changes lives. And today was a specially anointed one. I am sure a lot more were touched by the Holy Spirit today besides me. Good job you guys. Keep it up and glory to God.

Following the service, was the surprise party of one of our friends, David. The surprise party was organized by his lovely wife Vicky and it was just nice to witness how his face lit up when he realized that he walked in to his very own surprise birthday party. It was a good time of fellowship with friends and I’m glad that Joe and I had the opportunity to spend time with everybody. All in all, I’d like to give the Lord praise and thanks for His Word and His touch today, for godly friends and good Cuban food.

But my day is not over yet. In a few hours, I am calling my family in the Philippines and my mother's Oncologist. I'm filled with trepidation at the thought of calling and hearing more bad news, but I realize that this is fear-- and fear does not come from God. No matter what I hear from my family/doctor about my mother, I decide to continue to stand on the report of the Lord - that He heals all our diseases, and His mercy never ends. He triumphs over the enemy and His banner over us/my mother, is love. I said above that this Sunday has been good, thus far. But I will have to believe that all is well that ends well -- that this Sunday will be good all the way because OUR GOD IS GOOD. And I declare this in Jesus' name! Eat that, Devil!

Dancing Prisoners

2007-09-05T15:42:00.000-04:00

You may have come across a YouTube video in the internet – that of prison inmates dancing to Michael Jackson’s thriller, Black-Eyed Pea's music, or to the song "I Will Follow You" popularized by Whoopie Goldberg's movie, the Sister Act.

This is not a joke, this is for real. This particular prison is located in the city where I come from - Cebu, Philippines. (I've been to this prison many, many years ago having done prison cell ministry in the past). This phenomenon, if you may, is revolutionizing the concept of "rehabilitation". Apparently, the music and dance-exercise have lessened the violence inside the prison walls and have been showing positive psychological/emotional effects on a lot of the detainees. No less than 1,500 inmates both men and women alike - and serious criminals at that - are "catching on the tune" and have been able to put up huge dance productions such as what you see in the video attached to the article below.

Their videos have garnered millions of hit in YouTube and are catching the attention of both the local and international media like CNN. I'm not sure if this is something to be proud of, but I want to share this story nevertheless, because this sure is another testimony of the Filipinos’ ingenuity and our inherent (positive) trait of being able to laugh at ourselves and find something light-hearted and funny out of the most serious / threatening situation.

Read the article and see their latest dance, "Electric Dreams". The video has not even been uploaded in YouTube yet. Just click on the link below.

CNN - 'Thriller' prisoners prepare to make 'Electric Dreams' come true

Yet Again

2007-09-05T09:58:00.000-04:00

Another rough night yet again. I had another agonizing conversation with my mother last night. I was practically sobbing on the phone, begging for her to agree to be taken to the hospital. She was weeping herself, telling me that she doesn’t want to go to the hospital. She doesn’t want needles poking her, nor does she want to be subjected to all kinds of tests anymore. She is tired. She knows that she is nearing the end of her journey.

And the incredible thing is, instead of me consoling my mother/parents, they are the ones encouraging me. In the midst of their seeming gloom and utter despair, my father and mother are still thinking about me, about my well-being. They want me to be brave, not wanting that I should worry so much, lest my health and my job be affected… Wow. Talk about unconditional love. Reminds me of Jesus, when at the brink of His death on the cross, still had the strength to intercede for us and cry out "Father, pls. forgive them for they know not what they are doing". This just blows my mind.

So, I went to bed last night, soaking my pillow with tears. I can’t even begin to describe in words how I feel anymore. All I could say was "Lord....". But He knows. He understands. And with this thought, I somehow fell asleep. When I woke up today, these words/song lyrics, kept on playing in my mind:

You are my hiding place, you shall preserve me in trouble
You shall encompass me about with songs of deliverance.
In times when I’m afraid, I will trust in You.

Think about His love, think about His goodness
Think about His grace that brought us [me] through
For as high as the heavens above,
so great is the measure of our [my] Father’s love.
Great is the measure of our [my] Father’s love.

And I pray that out of His glorious riches may Jesus strengthen my mother with power through His Spirit in her inner being, so that Christ may dwell in my mother’s heart through faith. And I pray that my mother, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that my mother may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Eph 3:16-19). AMEN.

Confronting My Fear

2007-09-01T01:22:00.002-04:00

Have you ever walked through a situation that you thought you’d never have to walk through? Have you ever been in a circumstance where it seems like there is no way out? Have you ever been confronted with your very own fears? Well, I am in all of these situations right now. I am in a crisis that seems hopeless and helpless and where I am left with no choice but to face my greatest fear: DEATH – that of losing my parents.

These past few months, I have been forced to deal with my parents’ mortality. With both of my parents having cancer, and especially with my mother’s health deterioration – I have been compelled to deal with the fact that I will one day lose them…… and that one day may be drawing closer and closer.

You see, my mother’s health hasn’t improved at all. Her last oral chemo treatment was two weeks ago, but ever since she started that treatment, she had become weaker and weaker. She can hardly move, she has lost her appetite, half of her face has started to swell, her eyes started drooping and her vision has gotten much blurry. Things that use to be menial have become monumental for her. She is in pain, although she refuses to admit that much to me.

The doctor has just about given up as well. My mother has had everything – hormone treatment, mastectomy, radiation and chemo – but all of these have little or no effect at all. And now, I am faced with the ever-painful perennial question: What do I do?

As my husband said in his blog, I am distraught. I don’t know what to do. We have choices and decisions to make – but we need the Lord’s wisdom and provision now more than ever.

I feel like I am in a roller coaster, mostly like the ride going downhill. At times I feel like it’s ok for my Mom to go, knowing that it will end her suffering. But most of the time I struggle to accept that she could go anytime, any day. Call it blind faith or pure foolishness, but I do not ever want to give up the hope that my mother can still be healed. I am still expecting this miracle from God. According to His word, in Matt. 19:26..”with God, all things are possible”. Therefore, I will continue to stand on His word. If Jesus was able to raise Lazarus after being dead for 3 days, then Jesus is able to heal my mother. This is the kind of God that I serve.

Cancer may have ravaged my mother’s physical being, but it cannot touch her spirit. Despite of her physical discomfort (to put it mildly), my mother has remained strong. A friend of mine who recently visited her attests to this. She has observed that though my mom is physically weak but the strength in her eyes is evident, her faith in God is unwavering. My mother has already come to terms with her situation, and is already prepared to face her Maker.

I don’t know if I will ever be prepared enough for the time for either of my parents to go. But deal with this I will. I’m taking it one day at a time. God’s strength more than matches all the pain that I have. He is my refuge and my strength, my ever present help in time of trouble. (Ps. 46:1)

My Epiphany

2007-08-30T12:46:00.000-04:00

I just saw this video clip from a friend’s blog and I downloaded it to share it with you. It is a funny clip that reminded me of my very own "learning" experience.

Six years ago, I had absolutely no idea that big corporations, such as Dell Computers, outsource their technical assistance to countries like India and the Philippines where labor is cheaper. I was then having a problem with my office computer which necessitated my call to Dell’s technical support. The first person I spoke to had an Indian accent. But that came as no surprise to me since there are immigrants from India here in the U.S. Unfortunately though, he was not able to help me with my computer trouble, so I found myself calling again for technical help the following day. Now this time, I spoke with a lady, and in the middle of our conversation, I realized that her accent was much like mine -– she’s a Filipina! Having just moved to the U.S. at that time, I was eager to meet people from the Philippines. So I stepped out of the realm of professionalism and ventured into familiarity -- I asked her where in the U.S. she was. And to my consternation, she told me , “Ma’am, I’m in Manila” (that’s the capital city of the Philippines).

I was honestly surprised with her answer. I thought, “how could that be?”. I couldn't grasp why a girl from my country answered my call to Dell Computers for technical assistance. So I related my experience to my boss, who then promptly explained to me about these Call Centers in developing countries. Ahhhhhhhhh….like a cloud parting to let the sunshine through, I got the picture! ...…so that was my epiphany!

At present, call centers in the Philippines are sprouting like mushrooms in the field. Fresh college graduates, regardless of their degrees, flock to call centers seeking employment. In a country like the Philippines and India where decent employment opportunities are hard to come by, I am grateful that these call centers are providing jobs to thousands and thousands of people.

I’m sure that this clip is an exaggeration of everything that call centers do, but it is funny. Just watch it and enjoy!

Practicing His Presence

2007-08-22T15:37:00.000-04:00

The following is written by Salome Oro – a worship pastor, preacher, teacher, musician, singer, composer, sister and friend. She has touched and influenced my life greatly. Her passion for the Lord is infectious. I just wanted to share her writing, as it has so much truth in it. It's a bit long, but read through. It is worth it. This is what Kingdom building is all about…..

When was the last time that you really felt the presence of God enter a room you are in or felt him touch you with his mighty power? When was the last experience you had of the Holy Spirit zapping you and you fell under His awesome power?

Have you ever been in the zone of His Presence and you just got swept away by what He was releasing in that given moment of time? Did you ever experience what it is like when the glory of God comes down and is almost tangible and you could almost taste Him?

Everyone who has had such an experience came out of that place in the spirit a changed person… those who have decided to allow God to come and do with them as He pleased made it to the supernatural realm to a point where their consciousness became the Spirit and not what was going on in the Physical. Every time that happens the practical and the obvious things to do became so impractical! And, that which you never thought you would do because it’s too embarrassing or its too showy or its too much, becomes the most natural thing to do.

The level of anointing that a person receives from God is in accordance to the level with which the person allows God to touch Him. If God wants to touch your deepest issues and you won’t respond by opening your heart and telling Him to do it His way, then your level of anointing will not rise to the next level that He wants to take you. We limit God’s move when we do not open up to His dealings. The depth of his possession of your heart is the depth of anointing that you will be entrusted with. The darkness that lurks within each of us can only be dispersed when His light goes in deep into the cavities of our souls.

The very thing that you love and you won’t allow God to touch is the very thing that will kill you. There must come a level of trust towards our loving Father in Heaven so that you will allow Him to slay you… if you really know Him you will realize that the things He does to hurt us or cut us are the very same balm that He will use once He is done killing our flesh. Those things and ‘stuff’ and issues wherein you allow God’s dealings are the very things that will form your ministry and your anointing. The depth of your relationship with God is based on whether or not you allow Him to be truly God… meaning you let Him call the shots at all levels of your existence. This is the point in your life when you will truly understand grace at work not just on the level of salvation but on the level of sanctification.

When you allow God to do with you as He pleases, you truly die to self. And that death (which happens again and again as you grow in the Lord) will forge a deeper trust and faith in a God who indeed knows what we could never know unless He shows us the beginning from the end. Total surrender and submission to the Living God is the very requirement for a supernaturally tuned life.

That very act of opening up your life to Him fully will bring you to great heights and depths spiritually which otherwise you would never taste if you remain closed up inside. Let Him touch the most painful issues in your life. Let Him hear your cries of pain and despair; let Him bring you face to face with your issues so that you can see them for what they really are: tools of growth when placed in the Master’s Hands. Every downfall, every disappointment, every frustration, every painful memory, every broken relationship, every bitterness, every unforgiveness; these can all turn you around and make you great in the kingdom if we learn how to give it to God and let him heal us. Experience Him as healer. Experience him as the restorer of broken relationships by allowing Him to pour out the spirit of forgiveness all over your mind and heart and body. Ask for God’s grace to just flow in you and through you. Some issues may go the minute you lay it down and some that are so deep may take months or years. But know this: the more you spend time in His manifest Presence the more you will experience the depths of who He is. And you will really begin to ‘know’ experientially, not just mentally, that indeed Jesus is more than enough! He is indeed the lover of our souls. He knows how to satisfy our deep cravings for true love and he will begin to show us the kind of love that is so secure that we won’t wanna fight others just to prove that we’re gifted or that you are right or that you need recognition… it will so saturate you that what goes on around you or what is on the outside will not be strong enough to pull you down, because you are continually experiencing his manifested presence and his Agape love. Just enjoy Him. The things that he takes away most probably are the things that cut you off from Him. Sometimes its people, or things, or memories or self or position, or even ministry. Jesus must be number One. If he is not in his rightful place in our lives, we begin to feel discontent, we begin to fear, we begin to see things in the natural and we begin to despair. Everything starts as a seed. So, cultivate the lifestyle of living in His manifest Presence. Bring yourself before His feet and let Him know that you will allow Him to do with you whatever He wants and in whatever way He chooses to do it. There is such peace in giving up the reins of your life to the Holy Spirit. When the Holy Spirit leads you will never get bored because He will always challenge you to step out in faith! When you’re not feeling ‘okay’ He will challenge you to shout for joy and to sing high praises to the King! That kind of response to adversity brings the devil’s all time high to an all time low anytime! Strategies of warfare and worship are two powerful weapons that God will unveil to those who are willing to risk it all for God! Many times the challenge is this: Who will rule me today? My feelings or my Spirit? My God or the Devil? Myself or my calling?

We must get a grip of what God is calling us to do so that we will not just ride on any latest style of doing church. The church must be more at home being spiritual than in being practical and humanistic. The trap the enemy places before us everyday is to become too significant instead of becoming a voice of conscience to a sin gripped society. We are salt and light; not artificial seasoning and dimmed lights. The flesh will never be palatable in the Kingdom of God. In fact, the works of the flesh would smell rotten in the Kingdom of God.

Self- promotion is a no-no in God’s kingdom. When we are not so focused on taking the limelight for the purpose of becoming significant, the Lord will begin to open doors so that His Name will be glorified through you and me. It’s in telling the world how good He is inspite of ourselves that people’s focus will be on Him and not on us. We are His ambassadors. We represent the King not ourselves. We are to show Him off and not ourselves. So, we are to watch our ‘talk’ and discern our own attitudes whenever we are asked about our lives. When we are not full of ‘self’, God can fill us with Him. Our focus must be Him and not us. His Presence will manifest when He is the one really breathing through us. The churches that are experiencing refreshing have one cry: More of you, Lord! We ask for a download from heaven so that what we receive from Him is what will come out of us when we walk through our daily lives. His insights and creativity must flow daily through us and the only way we know His fresh infilling is if we soak in his Presence until our whole being is saturated by Him, to the point where when we walk the streets people will sense His Presence and will be affected by it! That is a revival church’s dream… His Presence manifesting physically because the person is always soaking… what is inside of us is what we give out when we relate with other people. Throneroom company people will bring his glory down to the filthiest of situations. Are we that kind of Christians? Are we so familiar with the move of the Holy Spirit that we know when He is in the room?

Let us allow God to permeate our senses, our physical bodies, our thought life and our spirits. Oh, that only His Spirit would be our guide and not familiar or unclean spirits! Let us march under His rhythm and let us recognize His Voice in the midst of chaos and confusion. Let us pursue His Presence every single day of our lives and let us value His thoughts, His Word, His influence more than those closest to us.

Let it rain, Lord Jesus! We need your fresh input everyday so we will not walk in our own limited experience of you in the past. You are a NOW God! We want to see facets of you that we have never seen before! Pour it down, Lord! So that when we meet the broken and the distressed and the abused, your touch in our lives daily will seep out from us to them. Bring us into a total dependence on your Presence so that we will not make our relationship with you a religious practice but a life giving relationship! LET IT RAIN!

Prayer and Fasting

2007-08-20T16:29:00.001-04:00

Commitment. It is such a big word that many people are afraid of. I can understand why. Because commitment demands a lot. When a commitment is made, death is going to take place elsewhere. To commit means something has to die.

A couple of months ago, I have committed to pray and fast at least one day per week, until the end of this year. I am doing this, not only as a part of the prayer and fasting chain of my home church in the Philippines, but largely for my personal reasons. Ever since I became a Christian, prayer and fasting have been a big part of my spiritual growth. It is during these periods that I get the most rhema words (revelations) from the Lord.

There are different kinds of fasting. And the fasting that I have decided to do is the partial fast – no food, just water. Despite the many times that I've done this in the past, I still struggle about food everytime -- when the hunger pangs hit me. Funny, but I can easily skip a meal or two at any given day when I’m busy, but during fasting, it becomes such a monumental task! Of course, the enemy knows when to hit and how to hit you. Just when you fast, someone in the office decides to bring cookies and donuts, or my husband calls and invites me to have lunch with him (his job makes it difficult for us to do this often) and not to mention that your thoughts are being plagued with all different images of delicious foods.

It doesn't surprise me that the enemy puts temptation my way during this period. That’s his mission. What really amazes me is our very own “flesh”, our carnality. It is very controlling! We always blame the enemy for the sins that we commit, but most often than not, it is infact our undisciplined flesh, our carnal desires that caused us to stumble and become entangled with sin. We are our biggest enemy!

There are many ways to "kill" our carnal self. But I believe that the best way is to fast from food. Food is a basic human, carnal need. When Jesus prayed and fasted for 40 days, His first temptation was with food– to turn the stones into bread. One would think that since Jesus was a man, women or sex would be the enemy's choice to use against Jesus… but no, the enemy appealed to his basic human need - FOOD. I believe this is because if we are able to deny ourselves with something as basic and primal a need as food – then maybe, overcoming all other weaknesses would become less of a struggle. But then again, this can only be possible if we pray and fast.

I am thankful that I have a friend from the Philippines who is my accountability partner. Together, we have set a day to fast, and time to pray together on the phone (long distance call) every week. Through this experience, my prayer life has been transformed into a richer, more personal experience. It is causing a personal revival in my life and I pray that the Lord will use me as a channel of revival to others.

Prayer and fasting has so many other benefits apart from what I have just pointed out. And I challenge you to see God’s power manifested and what He can do in your life, your family and your nation when you commit to fast and pray!

Questions

2007-08-15T09:33:00.002-04:00

Despite the advancement of medicines and therapies, cancer remains to be the most evil disease plaguing mankind to this date. I should know, I have two of my most beloved people affected by it – my mother and my father.

Today, I can’t help but wonder why good people, like my parents, get affected with cancer. My heart is aching so much, especially for my mother whose cancer is far more advanced than my father. My father has recovered really well from his colon surgery. My mother, on the other hand, doesn’t seem to get better. Just the other night, I can already hear the hopelessness in her voice. She wants to give up. She is ready to give up.

My mother has just been through another round of chemo. Though this time the drug was taken orally, but the effects remain the same. She is physically weak to the point that she has a hard time moving. On top of that, her skin is getting worse. The lesions has spread from her chest to her arms and neck. She is having sleepless nights. I can only imagine the discomfort she’s feeling all through the day and night – the silent torture of itchiness mixed with the burning sensation on her skin.

Why does she have to go through this suffering? Why is my mother is being punished this way? Has the Lord heard my desperate cries and tearful petitions for my mother, I wonder? Have I done the right decisions regarding her medications? Is there anything else I can do to alleviate her pain? So many questions, and yet, there are no answers.

Each time I speak with my mother, I am at a loss for words. What do you say to a loved one who is terminally ill? Sure, I’ve said a lot. I’ve encouraged, fought and prayed with her. I’ve been gentle with her, but also been rough with her at times. But really, what words can make her feel better and remove her pain away? Is telling her “I love you” enough???

I may not know the answers to all my questions, but I know the ONE who knows. He has the WORD. He is the WORD of LIFE. Lord, just say the WORD and I know, my mother will be healed.

David must have known when he said “This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!”… He must have known that all of us, at one time or another will have rough days, weeks, months or even years. This is a declaration of faith. This is the attitude of faith -- that despite of everything, the Lord is still God. It is tough for me to rejoice at this moment. But I guess, this is the essence of PRAISE. In good times and in bad, I shall give thanks to Him. After all, PRAISE is my ONLY weapon, and the BATTLE is the Lord’s!

Creative moves

2007-08-10T10:24:00.001-04:00

I've been hooked on watching this tv show "So You Think You Can Dance". This is similar to American Idol, but the dance version. The techniques and versalitily required from the contestants of this show are very high. The creativity from the choreographers are awesome.

Being a dancer isn't easy. Though I'm not a professional dancer like they are, but I am involved in the dance ministry. So I've had a little taste of how it is to memorize the steps, let alone perfect the execution of each movement. It requires physical stamina. It requires passion, dedication. It requires a whole lot of TIME.

It is sad to say though that in the church, we as dance ministers do not maintain the same standards that the world demands. Those that are dancing for the Lord are more often willing to settle for mediocrity -- "because it is not a performance". True, but we forget that we are "worshipping" the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. He deserves our best. He deserves excellence from us. Therefore, we ought to strive for more, to continually practice our craft so that we can be better each time.

Please don't get me wrong. I am well aware that a heart of worship is more important, but can you just imagine how "powerful" a dance ministry could be if a heart of worship is combined with excellent dance techniques (such as what you've seen in the video above) ignited with the Lord's anointing? Wow. This is my desire as a dance-worshipper. This is my vision. That is why I am never satisfied with where I am today. He whom much is given, much will be required. And my goal is to learn everyday (in all aspects technically and spiritually), to use what I have and continue to practice, so that God can cause an increase in the areas where I lack - to the praise and glory of His name.
Above are two dance routines from that I like... Please watch them. Enjoy.

The condition of my heart

2007-08-06T16:17:00.000-04:00

It's just another manic Monday... This day began just like any other Monday - blah! I felt like not getting up and going to work. But unlike the other Mondays, the Lord "woke" me up today.

I went out to walk the dog this morning as I usually do. I met our neighbor who is likewise walking her dog. She knows about my mother's condition, and she asked about her. I replied, albeit very hesitant and said "not very good. Her cancer is spreading, etc..." When those words came out of my mouth, the Holy Spirit flashed a red light in my mind. God showed me the condition of my heart. Despite all my prayer declarations of healing and miracle over my mother, He knows that in the deepest place of my heart - I lack faith. And my physical state today is most likely a reflection of my spiritual weariness.

I am a child of GOD yet I have the defeatist attitude. This is hard to accept, but somehow it is true. Sometimes, we don't really believe that we deserve the miracles of God in our lives, that's why it is easier for us to adapt to the victim's mentality. We are ready to settle for mediocrity, and in so doing, we limit God.

We often forget that GOD is good, just because it is His nature to be good. His love is unconditional. There is nothing that we have done, nor nothing that we did not do that can lessen the love that He has for His children! It is His good pleasure to give us good gifts. We are GOD'S favored children! And because we are walking with FAVOR from the Lord, we must stop being negative. Our confession must change. We must stop expecting the worse, but believe for the best. A friend once shared to me that "a heart of expectation creates an atmosphere of miracle". This is exactly the kind of attitude I need to have.

And so as I continued to walk the dog, I reflected on these things. I had to repent for my doubt and once more I asked God to give me faith and strength to BELIEVE. It is not enough for me to receive the miracle, for receiving implies a passive action on my part. I got to CLAIM that healing as His word promises. It is mine, it's mine, it's mine! I claim it for my mother!

Lord, thank you for speaking this message to me today. Thank you for reminding me to change my attitude and reminding me that I am YOUR favored child. You have anointed my head with oil and my cup overflows. Surely GOODNESS AND GRACE will follow me ALL the days of my life. So be it Lord. In Jesus' name.